Stateside

Our recent trip to the U.S. (which we arrived home from about 10 days ago) had to be timed very carefully, as it interrupted the school year. We also had the following to accomplish:

-travel before mid-October (when David's old visa would have run out)
-be in the U.S. in early October for my cousin's wedding on the West Coast
-arrive in the U.S. sometime before that, to get over jet-lag and get the visa application in the mail
-travel on a day when Andrei would be free to see us off
-be in the U.S. long enough for the visa to be ready, without having to expedite
-avoid arriving in Boston during a Red Sox game
-avoid early morning flights
-have Andrei arrive and fly back with us during a week when he has the fewest amount of lectures to reschedule


So, we did just that. Here is how we passed the time (sorry, can't get photos in order):

A "Christian" wedding reception

How does one go about planning a wedding celebration among church-goers? Should there be alcohol or not? What about dancing? If dancing is to be included, then what kind of music should be allowed? If there won't be dancing, then how should the guests be entertained? And do they need entertainment?

While pondering this question, Andrei and I thought about some types of weddings that we weren't particularly excited about (though we understand elements of them can be fun for other people).

-Typical Russian: lots of entertainment, with skits (depicting how the couple met, etc.), drinking, dancing, stealing the bride, having a fight, and other merry-making.

-Russian Protestant Christian version: Games are kept g-rated: tug of war, jousting with balloons, Bible trivia, giggles about what the offspring will look like or how they will divide chores.

"I'm looking for a volunteer": words that strike fear in the hearts of many mild-mannered wedding guests. Will they be dragged away to don costumes or ad-lib on stage?

We decided to go with the assumption that people just want to be left in peace to enjoy their meals or (gasp!) actually exchange a few words with tablemates.

And so, we put in a request to our friends for musical contributions. We asked a trusted friend to be the emcee.  My mom created some unique favors, sets of playing cards with our childhood photos on one side. And as a compromise, we burned a CD with a playlist of dance music, just in case the opportunity arose.

As it turned out, Andrei and I were teary-eyed with emotion for much of the reception. Our friends and relatives had prepared a whole concert. They had picked out each song with love. Other friends and relatives made speeches. Our plan to let people eat in "peace" backfired...the food was delicious, but how could we sit there munching while being serenaded by friends? Our plates kept getting cleared before we'd had more than a few bites. When it was time to cut the cake, I got ONE bite before something else happened.

We nixed the dancing and went with the final song. Through some oversight/misunderstanding, the leftovers didn't get sent home. Not even the cake...sigh.

BUT, we arrived home to find everything taken care of. Some friends had taken our millions of bouquets and put many of them in water-in the bathtub, buckets of water, anything they could find. Our gifts had already been delivered to our apartment, too. It was done with such thoughtfulness.

Not a bad start to life together...

How it went, part 2

When we got to the church, I went to "hide" in a side room while the guests kept filing in. It seemed like a really long time went by! I got my bouquet and met up with the flower girl and the other girl who was going to sort of hold my "train" (although it wasn't THAT long). I didn't have any bridesmaids or anything.

Finally my dad and I were getting ready to enter the sanctuary. We hadn't actually even practiced to the music! In fact, the music was being cued by one of our friends. He kept running into the back room to turn it on or off.

We found it actually hard to make a right angle turn because of the way the doors were. I reminded myself to relax and smile as I walked down the aisle. This was a wonderful day! Andrei looked nervous, however. I thought he was feeling emotional about getting married. And then I saw his father running around onstage for some reason. I later learned that Andrei had forgotten to take the rings out of his backpack, so Vladimir was quickly putting them in place as my dad and I were approaching the altar!

I may be biased, but it was a beautiful ceremony. We had looked for someone outside of our church to marry us, but ended up having our own pastor and friend perform the ceremony instead. And we were glad. His sermon spoke right to our hearts. Translating the ceremony for my relatives was a guy who'd translated for us the very first time we'd visited Russia in 1996-and then he'd become a good friend.

There were so many details we just hadn't had the energy to plan. A large part of this is related to having spent most of my emotional energy on getting documents formalized prior to the wedding. I also think that neither Andrei nor I thrives on planning big, fancy events. We both have a creative/artistic side, but when it comes to execution we do better to keep things simple.

There were no bridesmaids. There was no bridal shower or bachelor/bachelorette event. There wasn't really a color scheme. I didn't get my nails done. We didn't write our own vows. We didn't make programs. Some friends made us invitations, but most of them didn't get handed out until the day of the wedding. There were family and friends helping, and we gave them the freedom to put their own personal spin on it without running it by us.

As I've mentioned before, we were just touched by people sharing in our joy. I'm amazed just scrolling through some photos and noticing that I can even pick out the smiles on the blurry faces in the background. Why all this for us? I suppose, it is a testimony of God's faithfulness. All of the people there had their own stories, their own problems to work out. What were they thinking? For me, weddings are usually a chance to forget about everyday life and just have fun. But in some way or another, I also got a glimpse of the Mystery that is marriage between two person and between the Church and Christ.

And that's not all...

How it went

I might as well continue with wedding month! I've never really written an account of our wedding, and I think I'm going to do that now, 2 years later!

Part 1: In the Bridal "Suite"

The hairdresser came TOO EARLY. I think she was supposed to come at 8 or something, and came at 7 instead. I had planned to have a nice breakfast and suddenly had company. She told me to jump in the shower and get my hair wet...

The whole time I was getting my hair done, I was wondering how I would pay for it! I didn't actually have any rubles on hand and hadn't had time to get to an ATM. I did have some dollars, and a debit card. I picked up my phone, and saw a text from my mom that they were heading over to meet me. But when I tried to write back and ask about cash, I got an error message saying I was out of minutes. GROAN! So much for coordinating. There would also be no wedding morning texts for Andrei, oh well!

I started to get more and more nervous as the stylist got close to being done. I also had no way of knowing whether my mom and the other girls were lost or not.

Finally, I heard some knocking and went to open the outer door to find my mom, sister, sister-in-law, nephew, and aunt all huddled together in the hallway. They'd made it!

A look outside revealed a cloudy/drizzly day, just what I'd ordered! The days leading up to it had been hot and stifling, and I was worried that I (and the wedding guests) would wilt. The cooler temperature was such a relief and I was even willing to get a little wet.

Our friend arrived in his mini-van a bit early to drive us, and pretty soon we were ready, too.

Time to head to the church!

Remembering one day in July

The story of our wedding photos is sort of sad.

To make a long story short, we didn't really get any professional ones. We DID have family/friends with photography experience and nice cameras taking candids. Everyone is a photographer these days. But the person we hired to be our Photographer (so our guests could relax and enjoy themselves) didn't really come through. We ended up with a few folders of unedited photos and all the posed ones (siblings, indoor photo studio) missing.

Bear with me, this post is going to get better!

I've heard people say that the candid photos are the ones from their own weddings that they liked the best. 2 years later, I'm starting to agree. I still want to pick out a few acceptable ones and get them framed, maybe give some away. But the candids are the ones that make me relive that wonderful day.

I think in some ways Andrei and I are still blown away by the things people did to make our day special, or just the way they simply rejoiced with us. I wish everyone's marriage could start out that way! It is certainly meaningful to be in front of that many witnesses. I'm not talking about numbers, though. It's more about a unity of the spirit, if that makes any sense. And I believe that the Holy Spirit was there. Even though there were non-Christians there, I like to think that they saw it, too.

Just Married!

A new union

We had such a wonderful wedding! Maybe everyone says that about their own, but almost a week later we are still feeling so touched and grateful to everyone who helped to make our day meaningful. More later...

How we got married the first time

It feels awkward writing about being legally married and making wedding plans at the same time.

So here's the truth: Andrei and I had our civil wedding ceremony on April 17th of this year. I hadn't wanted to make a big deal out of it because Russians DO make a big deal out of it, and we want the spotlight to be on our church wedding.

Whenever we mention to someone here that we already had our "registration," we get a big CONGRATS and "I didn't know! Already? When?"

Sometimes we wear our wedding rings, like when getting my new passport, or going for Andrei's U.S. visa. Legally we were allowed to do all this, as husband and wife. But in general we won't consider ourselves truly married until we've had the church ceremony.

So that's that. Just wanted to clear up any confusion. And now, for the civil wedding report: continue/-

After taking care of some necessary paperwork and applying for a marriage license, we had signed up to be legally married on a Sunday evening in April.

The wedding "palaces" were created during Soviet times when church weddings were outlawed, yet idyllic family life was advertised. In general they are very ornate and everything is done very ceremoniously. They were also designed to accommodate dozens of weddings a day, so everything is set up to trot all the guests and bridal parties through the program in a very efficient way, timed to the minute.

We arrived 30 minutes early (as instructed) and were ushered into the cloakroom. Then our guests were ordered to stay in a waiting room near the entrance, while we went upstairs to finish taking care of the paperwork.

This was my big moment: to make the decision about my last name. I told them I wanted to change it. "Cross out your maiden name," they said, "and write in your husband's." How symbolic!

Then they went to consult with some other employees and came back with a whole entourage, who wanted to warn me against taking Andrei's last name. I would have horrible problems, they said. The U.S. authorities simply wouldn't understand about noun declensions and my last name having the feminine ending. But I had done my research and made my decision. They made me sign a statement saying I had been "warned."

(the resulting problems were due to changing my MIDDLE name and not my last name...something I hadn't researched)

The marriage certificate was printed out right then and there, and we were shown into an ornate waiting room. Meanwhile, as soon as we were settled, our guests were led upstairs and into the opposite waiting room, as though they couldn't see us. But they came in to visit anyway. I was given a balloon.

More waiting...they collected the rings.


As the big doors opened and the Mendelsson track came on, we processed into the room where our guests had been seated, and stopped on a swirly-thing in the middle of the carpet, per instruction. The officiant begin to give an elaborate speech, clearly trying to sound as dramatic as possible. I wanted to laugh, but needed to focus on paying attention to what she was saying. I didn't want to miss any instructions.

We affirmed our intent, signed our names, exchanged rings, shook hands...how long was it, 5 minutes?

Then everyone congratulated us and we rejoiced over our little victory. Husband and wife, under Russian law.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R4MUs1E3h6Y

To America and back in one hour

Don't know if it was risky to go to the U.S. Consulate today or not. In Moscow, maybe. But they don't seem to be likely targets for "activity."

Language confusion...

I successfully applied for my new passport today (after filling out the form a few times). When I pick it up next week, I will have to get it translated in a hurry and dash over to the local authorities to get my residency stamp transferred. Foreigners must be registered here within 3 days, and my old registration will be canceled along with my old passport.

The scene at the Consulate hasn't changed much over the past few years. What has changed is the new "appointment" system. It seems like a joke because there is NEVER a line at Citizen Services. Well, maybe I've had to wait a few minutes while they dealt with someone else or did something paperworky in the back. But in general, it's a ghost town.

I suppose they want to 1) know exactly who is going to be coming to the Consulate on a given day and 2) reserve personnel for emergency cases (stranded tourists) and non-citizen issues. But that's just my guess. continue/-

I arrived about 15 minutes early and wasn't even allowed in the building; I had to go wait across the street for another 10 minutes. It seemed a little harsh, especially considering the weather was in the 30's! But my future hubby is the bigger hero as he waited outside for me the whole time. There was also a group of hopeful visa applicants, evidently some Russian youth wanting to spend their summer in the U.S. Andrei gets to be in that category soon. :)

While we were still waiting outside, a group of bespectacled American businessmen in wrinkled khakis and blue blazers approached the Consulate and guffawed about something, to the non-amusement of the Russians.

Security was standard; I had given my Kindle to Andrei and removed change from my pockets, so I got a comment as to "many things for hair" in my purse, but that was it.

While I was waiting to be served, another American came in and said hello and we immediately started gabbing about where we were from, etc. I was amused thinking about how I would never say hello to a strange Russian, although we might compare notes about paperwork.

I have to admit to being a little nervous that the people waiting on me at the Consulate were Russian, only because I was afraid there might be a misunderstanding. The first girl was very young and her English was so-so (we could have spoken Russian, but it's the U.S. Consulate after all). However, she was quite efficient at helping me with the computerized form, and ran anything in question by her superiors right away.

The woman higher in command is quite knowledgeable; I think she's worked there for several years. So I'm pretty confident that my documents are in good hands. And even more confident that God is watching out for me!

Here comes the bride

Another triumph: my fiance and I were able to reserve the church we like for our wedding ceremony. Most churches here don't have their own property, so the few that do (mostly Lutheran) are fairly popular venues for weddings.

We called before heading over to the church to make sure there was someone in the office. However, it took quite a bit of maneuvering via snowbanks and locked gates to actually get inside the offices, which were in a different building (just in case we thought it was going to be easy). This is not so much for security purposes as it is a way of life...lots of courtyards to navigate.

The church is Finnish-Lutheran, though I don't know how often the Finns are involved; it seemed like there were mainly Russians around. We were supposed to have a recommendation from our pastor, but since several couples from our church have tied the knot there in the past few years, we were able to get away without calling in our pastor. Also, Andrey had performed one of the weddings, so he is pretty familiar with everything.

In lieu of talking to our leadership, the Lutheran pastor wanted to make sure we were familiar with the rules. 1) The wedding can be performed only after a marriage certificate from the State is obtained. 2) No alcohol on the premises, ever. 3) The pastor performing the wedding ceremony should be male. ("You said the pastor marrying you is from Germany?" "Yes, but we still have to check with him." "Ah, there's the pronoun I was looking for.")

Our date was still open, and the secretary wrote down our names, but she mentioned that there had been a mix-up with double-booking, so it seems that we will have to check in later and make sure nothing has changed.

More progress

 In which we apply for a civil wedding...

One of the hard things about getting paperwork done in St. Petersburg is that most offices (including banks) have a lunch break from 1-2 or 2-3 pm. So if you get there too close to the lunch hour, you will have wasted time waiting in line and then waste another hour waiting for the place to reopen.

Andrey was free at 1 pm, the lunch break was at 2 pm, and I needed to leave for the orphanage around 3 or a bit later. So we basically had an hour before lunch in which to get everything done.

I arrived a little earlier to reserve a place in line. I was already mentally rearranging my schedule and calling the orphanage to tell them I couldn't make it. Then I walked up the steps and turned the corner, expecting to see a full waiting room. It was empty-HA! continue reading/-

I poked my head into the office and asked if they were still open and if I could have an application. The woman started asking me about our citizenship and what date we wanted, but Andrey wasn't there yet. Nevertheless, she took a look at my documents.

I really hadn't been worried about my documents; it had all seemed easy and straightforward compared to applying for residency. In a way I was glad I had been through that whole process, so that this would seem like nothing.

She looked at the affidavit which I had just gotten back from Moscow. "This will need to be translated."

"What?" I was confused. The whole form was in Russian. What language did it need to be in?

"This line here, in English." I looked at what she was pointing at and it was a footnote under the signature: Do not sign affidavit until instructed to do so. That was for notarial purposes! She also pointed to a few lines that said (in English), Russian Federation, U.S. Embassy, Moscow.

"But I can tell you what they say!" I translated them for her, but she shook her head. "That doesn't matter. WE don't know what it says."

I thought I was going to burst into tears. Another trip to the translation bureau? Another few days to wait, now until next week? Sometimes it seems like the small obstacles are even more upsetting than the large ones. I had thought we might have a time crunch, but I hadn't expected everything to be delayed because of one little line of text.

She took the affidavit and announced that she was going to show it to her colleagues, then ushered me back into the waiting room and marched into an inner office.

I called Andrey, who was on his way. I told him the good news, that there wasn't a line, and the bad news, that I needed a translation. Just then, the lady emerged from the other room. "A translation won't be necessary." No translation! Hurray! Andrey went to the bank to pay the fee while I stayed put to monitor things.

When A. got there, we took turns filling out our parts of the application form while the other looked in the computer database for dates that were open. Having a civil ceremony at one of the wedding palaces is by appointment only. Of course it makes sense, since each wedding party needs a room for the ceremony and arrives with an entourage. We would have preferred to just show up at an office and sign a form, but for some reason the fact that I'm a foreigner means that we have to go through the wedding palace.

A few other couples were showing up, but most were leaving as they learned the spots for the summer were all filled up. A potential bride could be heard moaning, "But September is too COLD!" As for us, we were aiming for spring. We'll get the bureaucracy over with and just enjoy our church wedding in the summer. We hope.

The lady was a little exasperated with the way we had filled out our forms, but we eventually got them straightened out and picked a date, all by her lunch break. She printed out our names on a fancy invitation.

And then we realized that we were getting married very soon...on paper, that is. The plot thickens.

No more Moscow

Not this time, Moscow.

I want to like Moscow, but associations so far have been stressful, or adventurous at best.

A two-day jaunt as a college student: drunk train passengers, an aching back, the sun beating down...walking and walking for hours, not knowing how to ride the metro, terrified of getting lost.

Arriving on the overnight train for a training session: classes all day, homework in the evening. A brief stroll or two around the Kremlin; otherwise it could have been any city.

In the past few years, there have been other necessities: a visa to Africa; fingerprints for the FBI...only in Moscow.

My fiance and I dropped a document off to be apostilled 2 weeks ago. We really didn't want to make the trip to Moscow again to pick it up. I had gotten sick a few days after the trip, and he teaches almost every day. I want to give Moscow another chance, when the weather is nicer and we can relax and plan our own agenda.

This time, we decided to use a courier service, and should be getting the marriage letter back today.

Someday, Moscow...

An April wedding?

It's not what you think.

I'm not planning to walk down the aisle until summer, but we'll be applying for a marriage license as soon as we can gather the necessary documents.

Today we tried to start the process and had a bit of a wild goose chase, but we got some information we needed.

First we went to a records office to try to get an initial consultation. As we found the building and wandered up a narrow staircase, I tripped over the top step, which was, according to Russian tradition, a different height than the rest of them. I cursed the steps aloud as a smartly dressed young man opened a door to reveal an elaborately decorated reception area. But we were told it was "lunchtime" and turned away.

Back downstairs, we tried again to decipher the schedule on the door. It seriously reminded me of one of those problems in a puzzle magazine. read further/-

Chairman:

1st and 3rd Tuesdays: 10am-1pm
2nd and 4th Tuesdays: 3pm-5pm

Vice Chairman:

1st and 3rd Thursdays: 10am-1pm
2nd and 4th Thursdays: 3pm-5pm

Apostille Services:

Mon-Fri, 10am-5pm (Lunch: 2-3pm)

After some discussion and checking of watches and calendars we determined that we were there on a 2nd Tuesday. It was now about 2:20 pm, so after 3 we would have a chance to see a chairman, if that was even what we needed.

Plan B was to visit some friends who lived around the corner and are a Russian/American couple themselves. That sounded a lot more appealing, so we took down the phone number for the records office and off we went to enjoy some fellowship.

One of the questions that came up over lunch with our friends was how I am going to get my name changed in all my documentation. From the Russian side of things, my residency permit is a stamp affixed to my passport. I will have to go and file some papers to redo it, or something.

Before leaving, we called Records and inquired about getting married and they said "That's not our department." O-kay.

Next try: call one of the wedding palaces. We could have done that first, but...oh well, we had to keep moving forward.

We called the nearest wedding palace (there are 4 where marriages to foreigners are allowed), and they were already BOOKED for the whole summer. We are more flexible with the date since we just want a stamp; the church ceremony will be our main event and we consider this just a formality even though we are required to go through the wedding palace anyway.

We went over to the wedding palace anyway to see if there were spots left for April or May. If they were full, we could try another wedding palace.

The wedding palace had a spacious waiting room with a video consisting of images of elaborately furnished rooms and classical music playing on a loop. I guess it was supposed to advertise their services? The soundtrack had me clawing at my ears after awhile.

When it was our turn, the woman sized up our situation and gave us a List for the scavenger hunt application process. It's pretty much the same information as on several sites, which is presented as "The 5 Steps to Marrying a Russian." The problem I was having was with the 4th point: the letter which proves there is no impediment to my getting married. I keep reading everywhere that this can only be done in Moscow, and I'm going to try the Consulate again here to see if they'll help me. But I think I'll be finding myself on a train to Moscow very soon...

Good news and bad news

Wow, what a day! The first half consisted of my sister's wedding festivities. We got up at 6:30 to get our hair done, and the day continued from there. The wedding was beautiful, and I expect to have some photos soon.

I managed not to cry during the wedding at all. Then I got home and my visa was waiting for me on the kitchen table. I opened it up, and...





+/-

See that date saying September 24th? That's the entry date. But I was supposed to arrive in St. Petersburg on September 22nd.

I had been so pleased with the travel company for being prompt, and here was this big, glaring mistake. I have never had any trouble with a visa like that before.

I am not sure where the glitch was...it's possible that you have to wait a certain number of days after the visa is issued to actually enter the country. Usually it is only about 1 day, but the rules may be different with student visas.

Anyway, regardless of what went wrong, there is no changing the date in a visa. It's not like you can get a note saying that that there was a mistake and to please let you in the country two days early.

Meanwhile, all the relatives were starting to arrive back at our house for post-wedding socializing. I managed to get on the phone with British Airways, and they did have a seat available on Wednesday, arriving (legally) on Thursday. My parents are going to the airport that same day, so we can carpool.

So I went back downstairs to see my relatives. I am really glad that I didn't know about this issue before the wedding! I had enjoyed myself, fully expecting that everything was fine. Now I guess I will just have a few more days to pack and catch up on sleep before traveling.

Counting down

I got an e-mail from the travel documents agency with a Fed-Ex tracking number for my Russian visa, so it should be here shortly!

In the meantime, my sister's wedding day is almost here. Relatives started trickling into town on Wednesday. We are spending the night in Connecticut since it's a morning wedding, and returning Saturday evening.

That leaves...Sunday...to do everything else before leaving for Russia. :) I lost a lot of time last week waiting for the mail. But that doesn't matter now. I just have to somehow prioritize, and stay...on...task...

[Photo: The bridal party (plus mom of the bride) takes charge...]

Hither and thither

I really need to go to bed, but I wanted to post a quick "weekend update" before it's already the middle of the week!

Yesterday (Sunday), my sister and I went to a bridal shower that was being thrown by her future in-laws.

+/-

The shower had a "Hawaiian" theme, can't you tell?



We were at a house in Connecticut right on the water. I dipped my feet in the water for the first time all summer. Kind of sad with the ocean so close! I also got sunburned for the first time this summer...I guess I have been inside too much!



My mom couldn't make it because she was at the airport picking up my brother and his wife, who were flying in from Congo. Meanwhile, my dad had also been in Boston at a baseball game with the guys. So we were all scattered. But that's typical, I guess. There is always something going on!




Tomorrow we're celebrating three (I think) summer birthdays. Have to fit it all in before the wedding and next round of birthdays!

What Christian women think about

Last week I was shunning books and going on a "sola scriptura" stint. Then I found myself at the bookstore with a friend, and hadn't done my research, and ended up walking out with a few Christian books on women's topics. Uh-oh.

As with the last book of this sort that I read, I think that the one I'm reading is going to be edifying, yet have some weak arguments that are going to bother me.

So I'm going to lift the veil to share a few thoughts. And then I will write a more complete review later. The book is called "Lady in Waiting"* and the subtitle is "Becoming God's Best While Waiting for Mr.Right"**...which sounds really corny, but is a worthy topic for a book.

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Problem #1-The opening. The roommate has just gotten married, and the poor single woman is crushed.

"As the happy couple drives to the perfect honeymoon, you sit alone in a empty apartment, drowning your envy and self-pity with a half gallon of Heavenly Hash ice cream." (13)

Actually, no. First of all, the stereotype is wrong. Not all women drown their sorrows in ice cream. I am more likely to lose my appetite and throw up.

Second of all, I don't normally feel jealous when a close friend or family member gets married. I think the reason is that when you are involved in the ceremony or even just witnessing it, you can sense reality. You know a little about the journey and can rejoice with them for making it to this day. But you also realize it isn't a fairytale. And there is an air of mystery that reminds you that God's in charge.

It is when I'm watching a romantic comedy or looking at a long-distance friend's sickeningly sweet beautiful wedding album online that I may start to feel resentful, simply because the view of reality is missing. So I have to limit that kind of input sometimes.

Problem #2- The authors' assumptions about the audience.

"Rather than staying home worrying about another 'dateless' Saturday night, realize how much valuable time has been entrusted to you at this point in your life." (26)

This statement disappointed me because I felt that it made an assumption about the reader....namely, that she is a woman who adheres to a worldly concept of dating. I normally appreciate it more when the author assumes the higher standard...not because I think I am better, but because I feel more motivated when more is expected. Even though the authors make a good point here, I almost didn't want to keep reading because I felt that that particular situation didn't apply to me. What am I going to do if the entire book discusses dating principles for a model that I don't necessarily agree with? I guess I will find out.

Saturday night has never been associated with dating for me. The typical Saturday is usually a marathon of chores, errands, and trying to squeeze in a visit with precious friends. Then sometimes there's preparing Sunday school props until about midnight, and trying to get my clothes ironed, etc. so I don't have to wake up my roommate, who has Saturday church. If anything, Sunday is the day when you're taking the day off and wouldn't mind doing something special. But I really doubt that the average woman expects someone to suddenly invite her on a date, or that "this Saturday (Friday, Sunday) will be different."

Of course it's another story when you like someone in particular and sit around waiting for a call, text, anything that shows he is thinking about you. You have to keep focused and keep living life, which is probably what the authors meant.

Making assumptions about your audience is a risk. Sometimes you nail it, and sometimes you don't. I think this book is going to be correct about a few things, but it also brings up a lot of arguments, in my mind at least.

*Kendall, Jackie, and Debby Jones. "Lady in Waiting." Shippensburg: Destiny Image Publishers, 1995

**An alternate is "Developing Your Love Relationships." I'm a bit confused as to which is correct as it's labeled differently in different places.

Next wedding: invitations

My sister came over this weekend so we could address invitations together for her September wedding.

Here we are, still full of energy, before we ran into questions about grammar and forms of address.



+/-

Dad had to consult the dictionary at one point.

We worked together to make some informed decisions...

They should be in the mail on Monday!

Wedding wrap-up

My sister Anastasia got married on Friday, July 24th, 2009.

The rain held off for much of the evening, which allowed us to go ahead with the outdoor ceremony, as planned...




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One of the biggest problems was how to keep Angelica occupied during the ceremony since she's in a Mommy-only phase. She made her appearance carrying a basket of crackers.




The microphone wasn't working, but I heard most of what the pastor said as he led the couple in their vows before God. Angelica could not be distracted any longer as the final prayer was being uttered.




After that, there was the usual social hour and photo session.




Then we were seated in the banquet hall for the familiar program of toasts, socializing, dinner, and dancing. I was seated at the table with the youngest children, but it turned out that they didn't really sit the whole evening. They only came back to check in for a bite to eat or to fight over the glow-sticks. A plus was that I got a pretty good view of the dance floor and the head table!




Angelica was everywhere, darting here and there. I mostly let her do her toddler routine. I wasn't about to to tackle her on the dance floor.




At weddings, a lot of the toughest questions come up regarding conduct as regards to courtship and marriage, alcohol, sex, etc. It can be hard to determine what constitutes Christian "partying," or even Christian behavior at a non-Christian event.

During the wedding ceremony, the bride and groom were reminded that "Unless the Lord builds the house, its builders labor in vain." (Ps. 127)

It was a good reminder.

It's over! (or just beginning)

The wedding yesterday went fine. What a relief! I will share a few more photos later.

(click to make it larger)

*photo courtesy Mark Keating ;)

Cross-cultural weddings

"My wedding is going to be the first that's in only one language," my sister Emily observed the other day.

She may be right. Last year we were trying out our French in Congo at Nate's wedding. Yesterday, a "Bienvenidos" sign was posted in our kitchen yesterday to welcome Anastasia's groom's family, primarily from Bolivia and Colombia (though not first-generation).

I didn't feel any cultural differences as we gathered...although we were the hosts, so who knows how our guests were feeling? It was a fairly casual cookout, with a tent to provide some additional seating. The kids ran around with bubbles, or tiptoed into other parts of the house and claimed that they had seen "monsters."

+/-

Nastia was very insistent upon putting details of the schedule (including reception) into the wedding program. I didn't think it was necessary and she really wanted everyone to know what was going on...that the ceremony would be 45 min; that the reception would include toasts and the cutting of the cake; etc. I tried to explain that it was standard and people didn't put it in writing. But then I thought about how until she was 15 she lived in Russia, and her groom's family may not follow the typical "American" traditions. So Nastia really wants to get it right.

We'll see what happens...