Towards a bilingual education

Andrei and I argued about bilingualism years before we even started dating.

He wasn't convinced true bilingualism was really possible, and I was determined to have a bilingual child in order to prove him wrong. I don't think I actually expected that we would marry each other, but I guess the thought of cross-cultural marriage didn't seem so far-fetched.

Of course, I'm oversimplifying the discussion. Here are some of the issues we argued about:

-Young children will get the two (or more) languages mixed up. I've seen clear evidence to this NOT being the case. Kids do mingle languages, but this happens when they either are missing a vocabulary word in one language, or a word is just easier to say in one of the languages. There's a more scientific way to say this, but basically it's selective, not a moment of confusion.

Although our kids insert the "other" language into their speech sometimes, they also have no problem distinguishing between the two. Case in point: Both of them, when still speaking only a few words, called us Mommy/Daddy or Mama/Papa depending on who they were talking to. Sophia will call me "Mommy" in English, but complain (ha) about "Mama" to Andrei. Same with "Papa," she will call him that to his face but turn around and tell me what "Daddy" is doing.

I guess that didn't really prove my point. Another example might be when David is talking about bugs and uses the Russian name for a bug because it's one he hasn't encountered in the U.S. or English-language nature shows. He's not confused, he just doesn't know the word.

-Bilingual kids will be behind their peers. I actually use this excuse a lot to go slower with school work. I don't completely agree because I think David in on par with his peers in many subjects. Even precocious in certain contexts. However, I will admit that if you run the numbers, it's hard for bilingual kids to receive the same input. If they are conversing 12 hours a day, in two languages equally, they will have only 6 hours of language acquisition as opposed to children who are exposed to one language. That's just the way it is. And it might not matter beyond a certain age, but there certainly might be manifestations in a younger child.

The school year so far

As usual I have many huge topics in my drafts folder, and I'm not sure when I will be able to sit down and finish those off. But no one wants to read long posts anyway, right? So maybe it's better to write about everyday life.

Home education:

David is 6 years old, kindergarten age for Russia but in U.S. he might be in first grade by now. At any rate, he's not going anywhere at the moment. It's partly the school system and partly his complexities. Let's just say he thrives most in a one-on-one environment (as opposed to the rumored 30-person class sizes at local schools). Although I wish he had more friends his age, I can also think of many wonderful adults in my life whom he would find very entertaining. It's just a matter of being open to the right opportunities. So, we aren't really worried about socializing him. It just might look different.

We thought about signing up for more classes at the cultural center down the street. But David did not seem eager about it. And since he's only 6, he's still within his rights to say no. ;) But we did decide to prioritize speech therapy at this point. There are many times when I've thought other parents were overzealous in terms of helping their children develop, but in this case I guess it's not just naturally going to get better. The exercises with a professional are clearly helping. A Canadian friend was helping David with his English last year, and he's added some sounds that were missing before. Meanwhile, he goes to a Russian lady now for speech therapy, and always gives a positive report when he comes back. I'm trying to picture myself as a child, going to see a lady for tutoring...I think I would have HATED it. I would have much rather stayed at home and read a book. But she obviously knows what she's doing, and he must enjoy the attention. They are working on pronunciation, reading, and pencil skills-all in a 30-minute session!

So...if we end up homeschooling for a few years (beyond preparation work we're doing now), I might just decide to employ some tutors OR find a group to join. I'd always pictured myself just preparing the subjects myself and presenting them. But I'm coming to accept that 1) I'm NOT an expert in all areas and 2) Other adults sometimes get a better response from my child.

On a side note, I've been reading a lot about Charlotte Mason. I like that there are lots of resources online, makes it quite doable from abroad. However, I'm just kind of exploring at the moment.

That's about all I have time for!

P.S. I decided it would be fun to fiddle with my blog theme to reflect the changing seasons. Everyone was saying a lighter background is better, anyway. Well...back about 10 years ago, I used to do all the changes to my blog design from scratch. Search around and find out how to change the html, etc. Just now I decided to switch the header photo, and it took about an hour getting it to the right size! I'm used to taking photos with Instagram squares rather than something long and narrow. And sadly, the quality is lost. That must mean my phone doesn't take very good photos...certainly nothing that could be enlarged to go in a frame. Very sad! I'll have to investigate further. And do something about my poor header. Another day.

French fries in Finland

This post turned out rather long, definitely don't have time for this every day! However, check out my IG feed for frequent snapshots.

David and I (and the other concerned family members) can check this year's border run off our to-do list...whew. Until we figure out if we're going to get permanent residency for him, the 3 yr visa requires him to leave the country every 6 months. Or rather, he's supposed to be just coming for 6 month visits, but he's allowed right back in.

The search feature on Blogspot isn't always the best, so here and here and here are previous border runs with David, and here is one of my own from way back in 2008. Oh yeah, and wayyy back in 2007, one of my first blog posts was about visiting Estonia.

Sometimes we try to make a little trip out of going to Finland, but for the past few years we have found that it isn't very relaxing for all the effort we put in. Plus, it tends to fall between February-April, not the nicest months for exploring any northern countries.

This time, I decided as an alternative method to ask another missionary friend of mine to go with me and David, instead of going through the visa process with Andrei to get into any Schengen countries. My friend has Canadian citizenship, so it would be easy for her to go, and we were counting on that.

Unfortunately, my friend had to rush to Canada due to a family emergency, right before our trip! We were already planning to go on the last day of David's registration, so there was nothing we could really reschedule, and as usual, it was too late to get Andrei a visa, so David and I were going to be on our own. It took some effort to get tickets, as well. I found conflicting information on various websites, and had trouble entering David's birthdate. So Andrei had to make a special trip to the train station to get the tickets, but it ended up being a lot cheaper than via the tourist agencies!

I had planned everything out to end up with an optimal schedule. I always remind myself of this when it appears as though we're completely disorganized. The good intentions were always there! In this case, I picked a later morning departure and then a train back that would have us home for bedtime. We chose a town just 2 hours away, to make for easy travel.

David woke up on his own just in time to get dressed and leave for the train. We were making good time, nothing to panic about. He did start melting down though when he realized Andrei wasn't going with us. David has been having a lot of separation anxiety lately and goodbyes can take a long time. I think today and possibly yesterday were the calmest he's been in a while about Andrei leaving for work and such, but if any part of the goodbye ritual is omitted, he gets quite upset (if so-and-so didn't wave the right way, etc.). He asks for me at bedtime after wanting Andrei and/or Babushka all day! Anyway, I had to take out our emergency toy in order to distract him so that we could say goodbye to Andrei at the train station.

Watching loads and loads of birch logs go by!

Banking, AKA Handwriting Practice

The other day, I had to go do a bank errand that I'd been postponing for quite some time. Our branch closed within a year or so of my opening an account, so I had to switch to another one, two metro stops (and a tram ride) away. Even without being a huge distance away (40 minutes), it wasn't the kind of thing where I would just happen to be in the neighborhood.

Andrei was feeling well enough to stay with David for a few hours, so I finally dragged myself over there.

The bank (in Russia, at least) makes me nervous. I suppose part of it is language and having to speak over a high counter, though at least it isn't through the glass. And not knowing the proper protocol and so on. But it's ten times easier than visiting Immigration, of course! I kept telling myself along the way and throughout the whole process, that no matter how silly I might look, they have to do their job and help me...within reason, of course! And that is true even at Immigration where the officers can be rather intimidating. They must answer your questions and give you the information you need. But the bank is a business and they are normally quite formal and polite. These were all the thoughts I was mulling over in my head.

To get the form I needed, I had to fill out a request...or rather, create one myself. I'm sure I've probably mentioned before how handwritten requests are still favored in Russia. It is considered more formal, and/or less likely to be forged, I guess. There is a specific format to be followed for different types of requests, much like addressing a letter or envelope in American culture. For this specific type, a "zayavleniye," the recipient (dative case) and person writing (genitive case) + passport info are placed in the upper righthand corner, then the word "zayavleniye" is centered, then after a few spaces comes the body of the letter, and then the date/signature have to be positioned a certain way. I think it would come much more automatically in English, but this was somehow counter-intuitive, and the teller was dictating to me and I was sounding it out to spell correctly, and she was composing as she went along, too. But they were quite nice about it and there was no line, so it wasn't too stressful.

The next day I went back to get the forms I had ordered, and waited while they were processing my documents. I heard them discussing what to do in the case of a U.S. citizen, but I liked that they didn't complain about my being an exceptional case. They simply asked me to have a seat while checking with their superiors. And again there was no line, which was nice...though I wonder what that says about the economy.

They suggested starting over with a new balance in a round number, so I was sent to the cashier to get my ten bucks (plus) in change. It came out partly in dollars and partly in rubles. That made me smile. It was such a jolt to see a crisp, new ten dollar bill. When did I last use dollars? I guess it was almost 10 months ago now?

Long time no see, Mr. Hamilton!

One of the hardest parts, though, was signing my name! Don't laugh, but I've just never really gotten the hang of a personal "signature." I don't understand how you are supposed to have all the letters in there, yet with embellishments too, and so that it fits on the line. I usually start out neatly and then get all muddled up and end with a squiggle. When the teller gave me two copies of a certain print-out to sign, I signed the first one okay in English (to match my passport), but on the second one I got my languages mixed up and started making a "y" instead of a "u." Story of my life these days!

Almost three!

I haven't done a David update in a while. I think there are lots of things kids try once early on, but I usually count it as a fluke until done regularly. So here are some skills David has actually mastered lately.


Getting good at...

-making arguments. He now connects ideas with "because" and "so." For example, "Don't touch my chair because it's mine." "Turn on the light so I can see." A lot of times he links seemingly unrelated phrases, which sounds funny, but it's impressive to see him trying so hard to explain things logically (or making excuses to get out of doing something).

-cooking. This is actually related to something bigger which is his attention span getting longer. He can stand on a chair while we do a whole baking project together, even if I ask him to wait while I wash a few dishes and clear the counter. He can wait until I give him an assignment. Sure, he might have shown an interest before, but he never had the patience to really participate.

-doing hand motions. (see book cover) Again, maybe he tried to do it before, but I noticed it really clicking for him recently. He probably knows more songs than I'm aware of, but he is seeming more teachable in this regard. I got out a book of kids' chants with motions and have been looking for ones to do with him. It says from 2-5 years but I had tried before with limited success, so 2.5 or 3 years old seems more realistic.

Speaking two languages (with videos)

David turned 2.5 yrs old last month, and I haven't really written about his development lately...partly because I figure it really isn't that interesting to read about someone else's child month-by-month. :)

But there are some milestone issues I like to address, and since we are raising a bilingual child, that is something to comment on. He has taken a big leap forward from a few months ago.

February sunshine!

One Parent, One Language

It's worked pretty well for Andrei to speak Russian and for me to speak English at home. I had been used to speaking more Russian, but now I can switch back and forth pretty easily and stick to English even when everyone else around is speaking Russian. Like if A. is explaining something to David in Russian, I might jump in and reinforce what he's saying, but in English. It might sound funny to someone listening in, but it works.

David has demonstrated for a while that he knows to use different languages with different people. He has always called Andrei "Papa," but will talk to me about "Daddy," and while he calls me "Mommy," he refers to me as "Mama" to Russian friends and relatives. If he is conversing or even watching TV in one language, he will explain it to the other parent in his/her own language, and so on.

Inside an Immigrant's Thought Process

It is really hard to get inside the head of someone functioning in a second language. I know this because it is my everyday reality, in contrast to the people around me!

I like to think of America as this place where anyone can settle down and lead a normal life, even someone arriving as an adult. But I realize that's a bit of an illusion. You never know what's happening behind someone's accent. And because receptive and expressive language acquisition can be different, you never know how intelligent someone is behind the accent...or how much of the conversation he/she is missing, while appearing to function as a native speaker.

Earlier today I was reading a novel about a Chinese student who came to the U.S. on exchange for grad school. She ends up being befriended by Christians and coming to faith...that's sort of the main plot, but I found myself thinking more about the logistics. The author did a good job of portraying some of the cultural nuances: tipping in restaurants, showing hospitality, etc. But I analyzed a lot of other aspects of what was going on. For example, how did the main character adjust to working in the university's dining hall? Did she know all the correct terminology related to washing dishes, etc.? Though the book is told from the heroine's point of view and we know her thoughts, I kept wondering what she sounded like when she spoke. Did she have a strong accent? Did she speak softly, or confidently? Did people respond to her differently than to a native speaker?

This fall marked 10 years since I moved to Russia! I am definitely "used to" living in a foreign country, but it is still a huge adjustment moving somewhere in adulthood. I'm sure my thought process is still so different from the average Russian's...at least in how I react to my environment. The other day I was checking out a few American news headlines and was struck by how I don't even read/watch the local news! Andrei does, and I wondered what different experiences we're having with processing what's going on in the world.

Meanwhile, there are certain areas where I still feel inept. Last week I was sick, and one night I lay awake knowing I needed to go to the doctor but being terrified of what was going to happen. I feel better now, but the site where I had blood drawn still has a huge, unsightly bruise. I don't know if it was a case of miscommunication or incompetence, but...ouch!

Anyway, part of the reason I'm bringing this up is that assessing my own perspective in turn makes me really curious about others. It is so commonplace to see migrant workers cleaning our stairwell, for instance. What's their story? We have some things in common and then some pretty big differences.

I'd better post this before it gets stuck in drafts purgatory...just wanted to share.

Bilingual tidbits and names for people

In an effort to become a part of the bigger bilingual world as a whole, I signed up to be on a mailing list for a blogging "carnival" where there is an assigned topic and everyone sends their submissions in to be on the master list.

Well, I sat down to tackle the May topic, only to find out that the deadline was May 18th. D'OH! Oh well, the topic was to do with technology, which is a little bit of a stretch for us at this point (aside from David screaming CARS at the top of his lungs daily until we put on an animated car video for him to watch).

Maybe next time the topic will be more relevant.

As I think I mentioned before, there are some links to bilingual blogs in my sidebar, and they in turn have links to more blogs. There is a lot of good content in there; book reviews, etc.


Here's one topic we've been discussing at home lately:

What do you teach your child to call strangers on the street? Walking by, in a store, or even casual acquaintances?

Whenever a Russian child points at a person walking by, his accompanying adult gives that person a title: "Dyadya/Tyotya (Uncle/Auntie) is most often used to differentiate men and women. If the person is obviously elderly, then maybe a Babushka/Dedushka (Grandmother/Grandfather) will do. And of course little babies are called little babies...well, you get the idea. Makes sense, right? Then with friends and acquaintances the child learns the person's name: Tyotya Olya, for example.

People keep asking me the English/American counterpart, and...I've got nothing! Honestly, I feel awkward shouting out Man/Woman/Girl/Boy whenever David points at someone. I'm not even sure I'm comfortable having him point at people. But at the same time it's such a natural process for the child to point and the parent to teach vocabulary. I don't know, I must just not have enough parenting experience. Either that or I've been abroad for too long. ;)

1+10

So today is Victory Day, but it's actually more of a family holiday for us. I even found myself wondering what time Vladimir got off work, forgetting that he wouldn't be working at all today on account of the holiday. 

I wonder what it's like for Russians today, remembering the past while in the midst of a modern conflict. Not even sure if I can fit my mind around it right now.

American-style, David is 22 months today. But most Russians I know say "a year and 10 months." Is it sort of like the difference between army time and not-army time (whatever the term is)? Whenever I say how many months old he is, I can see people converting into years in their head. 

We are still seeing many changes each month. I really should be doing weekly journal entries or something, but I manage to record some of it via photos, emails, etc. 

The biggest development lately has been the start of "make-believe" play. It started with David constantly putting out two objects, one for himself and one for us to sit on. Those were our "chairs." And then "hats." And now we're in full-blown "tea party" mode, where each attendant has his/her own dishes and even food...macaroni soup is the usual daily special. A lot of times I'll walk into the room to a new configuration and it will turn out that David planned out the whole thing and executed it himself. New seatings around the table, new dishes, etc. The other day he brought coasters in (from our bedside tables) to use as plates, and then went into the kitchen and took some little magnets off the refrigerator...they were placed onto the coasters and became "food." I'm so glad we recently acquired a child-sized table and chairs to help with these scenarios.

David feeding (l-r) "Mama,""Papa," and "Boy"

As far as speech, David still has more English active vocabulary than Russian. We were at a church retreat recently and everyone commented on how social he's become and on how his English is the cutest thing ever...they kept asking him to say "ba-na-na" in his unique way. He also refers to himself as "Boy" whenever he is telling what happened or asking for something. But then they wondered...where's the RUSSIAN? Patience, my friends. :) We just need to get Babushka and Dedushka over here a little more often and he will catch right up. 

Speaking of Babushka and Dedushka, they will be here in a little while with all the fixins' plus some gifts for the "birthday" boy, and I'm still in pajamas...oops. That's all for this little update. 

21 months (speaking)

David's vocabulary is increasing exponentially and I started to keep a list but have gotten tired of writing it all down! Of course some of the word use he initiates himself, and other words are ones he repeats after us or when prompted. It's exciting when he uses a word we didn't know he knew.

In general David's spoken vocabulary is heavier on the English, but I would say that he comprehends both languages equally well.

Sometimes he shows evidence of being able to differentiate. For example, I will ask where "Daddy" is, and he points to Andrei and says "Papa." Same with "Mommy" and "Mama." If Andrei asks him in Russian where "x" is, he points to the object and names it in English.

One of the more humorous habits he currently has is that he calls all women (and some men) "Mama" and random men "Papa." And this evening he was pointing to triangles on the wallpaper and calling them "Mama" and "Papa." Ummm.....


Word List for anyone interested:


"Oh no"

"No/Yeah" (shakes head no but doesn't nod yes yet)

"All done"

"Mo" (more)

"Muck" (milk)

"Cup"

"Door"

"Clock" (pronounced without the 'l')

"Tuck" (truck)

"Car"

"Book" :)

"Ball"

"Sees" (sit/chair/anything to do with sitting?)

"Mama," "Papa," "Ma-pa," "Pa-ma"

"Tam!" (Russian for "there," used to answer any inquiries as to where something is or what happened to it or used to give directions)

"Spsssps" (Spasibo,=thank you)/ "Takoo" (thank you)

"Poka/Bye!"

Various articles of clothing, various body parts



Compared to 2 months ago that's quite a change. But it's kind of sad that he's already losing some of those cute sound effects!

The things I find when I'm cleaning!

I was taking a few things out to storage when I decided to take a closer look at this box from our electric kettle:

Made me chuckle. :)

I'm still fascinated sometimes by how my native language is used as a marketing tool and not necessarily as a means of communication. English! Mark of quality, right? Kind of funny since it has the opposite effect on me; I see the weird grammar and think "low-budget."

Makes me wonder how the American companies do at translating their instruction manuals into various languages.

David's "vocabulary," 19 months

I'm just sort of typing this out to remember it later! We honestly haven't been paying attention much to where he should be for his age, and are expecting a delay due to having two languages.

Communication is happening, verbal and otherwise.


"Arf-arf!" -Dog

High-pitched squealing/giggling -Bird

"Zzzzzzzz." -Car

Slurping/sipping noise -I want a drink of water

Growling noise -Bear/Tiger/etc.

Gesturing with hand/aahhhhh -Hot

Gesturing with hand/ohhhhhh -Cold

Shaking head -No/I don't want to/I don't want to stop.

"Boom!" -Fireworks/firecrackers outside

"Bam!" -I hit my head (or other body part).

"Co-co" or "Coo-coo." -Quack (Duck)/Cookie

"Bl-bl-bl" -Belly button

"D-d-d" -Daddy or Daddy's things

"M-m-m" -Mommy/milk (nurse)

"B-b-b"- Bread

"Blech" -Yucky/trash

"Too-toooo"- Train/Let's go (to another room, for instance)

"Too-tah" -Туда (Russian for "that way" or "over there")

"Ai!"/"Oi!" -Exclamation


Those are the ones he uses with me, Andrei or Nina might have more in Russian.

12 months and beyond

David is growing in leaps and bounds. I know that probably sounds cliche as they change so much day-to-day. But he really is transitioning in major ways. One thing is that he is more "teachable" in that we can show him how to do certain things (intentionally or not) and he repeats them. He's waving, "snapping" his fingers, and using certain tools. He takes laundry out of the washing machine and puts it back in. He takes lids off containers and tries to put them back on. He takes his socks off and mimics fastening and unfastening velcro straps. Etc., etc...

Though not walking around freely yet like some of his peers, David is a VERY interactive child. He is always aware if someone new has entered the room and he "yells" at him/her until he gets a greeting. When he is proud of himself, he looks around and makes eye contact with EACH person to make sure everyone is looking and praising. He adores having little "conversations" with people even if it's just a game of peekaboo.

So here's the challenge...David is at an age now where I take him OUT of the stroller when we go on walks.

That might mean more dirty clothes for us, but it ALSO means more social interaction. And as a bilingual parent, I feel a little awkward. In Russia, my language is less dominant. So I feel a little funny speaking it in public. And yet, I don't want David to feel that one of his languages is something to be ashamed of.

The neighbors on our street in Massachusetts this summer had a French-speaking nanny. We could hear her speaking French to them from across the street. Maybe I could create a cool nanny image for myself?

I just get into those situations where it's more necessary to be verbal, and that means speaking Russian. So do I:  A) Speak Russia with the other people and English with David, B) Speak Russian with other people and switch to Russian with David when in public, or C) Just keep a low profile and improvise depending on the situation?

Even the SOUNDS of childhood are different. The "oops," "boing," "whee," "vroom." Those sound different in another language! And they might sound funny to onlookers (but hopefully not obscene).

On a Russian playground, there is a lot of instructing going on. It's constant commentary from the mothers (and grandmothers and even fathers) accompanying their charges. Here is how you go up the ladder, here is how you go down the slide, here is how you share your toys, here is how you brush your clothes off if you fall. It is great for language learning, I'm sure. But to be honest, I also get a little overstimulated being privy to all that information.

I park David near the slide to watch how a little girl goes down. Her mother sees a teaching opportunity and brings her over, saying gently, "There's a BOY. See the BOY? Say HELLO to the boy. Are you being shy? What's the matter? Go on."  The little girl manages a little grin and giggle and David offers a jerky wave in their direction after their backs are already turned and they're walking away. I didn't tell David to say hello to them. I didn't know what language to use.

David will learn the Russian well enough. He's got a Russian father and grandparents. For English language purposes, we may need to find ourselves a playgroup. And he'll learn his second language, too. It's just figuring out the mixed situations that's a little tricky.

I've linked to a few bilingual blogs in my sidebar. I guess I'll take a look and see if any of them address this.

Heart

When a non-believing friend visited our women's group lately and had some questions, I was moved listening to other women share their stories. They spoke of their faith, and the Word of God flowed out of their mouths so naturally. I don't really know how to describe it, but it wasn't a "Quote the Bible" moment where everyone recites their favorite verse. It was a time for some healed sinners to share the words they had personally stored up in their hearts; words that were appropriate to the specific questions being asked.

I was blessed to listen to them. That's what I did; I listened. I didn't resent not being able to keep up, but I did wish the words would fly off my tongue like that. There are so many parts of Scripture imprinted in my memory from childhood: hymns and spiritual songs, psalms, memory verses I have purposefully set out to learn. The problem is, they're in English.

On a few occasions I have set out to learn Russian memory verses. But they just don't stick. You hear of missions organizations debating over what an "unreached people group" is. Do they need the Bible in their OWN language, or is it enough to translate it into the most accessible major language? (Why translate if they learn English/French in school, right?)

Well, there is something to be said for "heart language" translation, which focuses on more obscure languages, with the idea that reading the Bible in one's NATIVE language will resonate the most. I have to admit, there is nothing like worshiping in my native language. It isn't better, it's just different. I can feel the words deep in my soul, and my eyes well up with tears.

But I want to learn the Bible better in Russian. They say that even in cases of bilingualism, certain topics will never really feel natural in one or the other of the languages. Maybe complicated literature will always feel foreign to me, in Russian.

However, there are reasons not to despair. When I first started attending my church here, I did not know as much Russian. And yet, whenever someone in the church opened his mouth to pray, it all made perfect sense to me. I didn't know the words and I couldn't tell you in words what he had said. I just understood. We must not underestimate the power of the Holy Spirit, nor the amazing tasks God equips our brains to carry out!

Introverts and favorites

It’s been awhile since I've thought about being an introvert. Maybe I’ve overcome some of the issues, or maybe I just haven’t had to face them lately! There were two books I wanted to review a few years ago, and never got around to it.


The first one was called “The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths," by Marti Olsen Laney. I like it because it explains the difference between introverts and extroverts in a more factual way. And it helps me understand why I possess certain oddities.

What's your favorite _____________?

Recently, we had a reflection time at Bible study and were asked to name some favorite parts of 2012, as it came to a close. While it seemed like a good idea, I had a pretty hard time answering. In fact, I have a hard time naming my favorite anything! Of course I don’t forget factual information like my date of birth, but when it comes to how I feel about something, I have a hard time retrieving the information. I have to make up things like my favorite book or favorite color.

So it was a relief to read that our memories actually DO work differently. Without including the long-winded information about brain signals, here is the gist of it:

"...we introverts think nothing relevant is in our head because we haven’t triggered the association to our long-term memory. Our mind seems blank. This is why introverts can even forget what we like to do or what we are good at." (p.81)*

Losing our train of thought...

It may sound like a lame excuse, but here's a reason that we can't find the right words sometimes:

Often introverts have trouble finding the word they want when they are speaking out loud. Our brains use many different areas for speaking, reading, and writing; therefore, information needs to flow freely between the separate areas. Word retrieval may be a problem for introverts because the information moves slowly. One cause of this is that we use long-term memory, so it takes longer and requires the right association (something that reminds us of the word) to reach back into our long-term memory to locate the exact word we want. If we are anxious, it may be even more difficult to find and articulate a word. Written words use different pathways in the brain, which seems to flow fluently for many introverts. (pp.69-70)

Socially "awkward"

Meanwhile, here are some behavior "oddities" that I'm definitely guilty of:

An introvert may:

-Reduce eye contact when speaking to focus on collecting words and thoughts; increase eye contact when listening to take in information • Surprise others with their wealth of information • Shy away from too much attention or focus • Appear glazed, dazed, or zoned out when stressed, tired, or in groups...

The dominance of the l-o-n-g acetylcholine pathway means that introverts :

• May start talking in the middle of a thought, which can confuse others • Have a good memory but take a long time to retrieve memories • Can forget things they know very well—might stumble around when explaining their job or temporarily forget a word they want to use • May think they told you something when they just have thought it • Are clearer about ideas, thoughts, and feelings after sleeping on them • May not be aware of their thoughts unless they write or talk about them ( pp. 84-85)

When it's hard to retrieve those thoughts, I have trouble doing things like praying out loud, explaining to someone what I do, telling someone about my day...

But introverts CAN be public speakers. It isn't a fear of people, it's a fear of the words not making their way onto one's tongue. It IS possible to memorize speeches and come across quite eloquently. It IS possible to memorize the appropriate answers to common questions, for both formal and informal settings, and use personalized memory triggers to access those answers.

When I studied foreign languages, I would sometimes give false answers to questions about myself. For example, I would usually say I had "one brother and one sister" (it's actually more than that) because it used the easiest noun endings. For college interviews, I had to do a little acting. What were my goals in life? How did I feel about the upcoming transition to college life? I said the first things that came to my mind. In situations like these it isn't the most true-to-life information, but it works for passing the test.

But what if you want to have a REAL conversation? Introverts may need time to reflect. Or, if you check your email a few hours after a conversation with an introvert, you may find some very thoughtful answers, which have finally made themselves known. :)

* All quotations are from: Laney Psy.D., Marti Olsen (2002-02-01). The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths (p. 69). Workman Publishing - A. Kindle Edition.

Quick break from bureaucracy: bilingual parenting

Back before we were expecting David...let's see, that was actually when we were engaged-I downloaded a book to read called "Bilingual By Choice: Raising Kids in Two (or More!) Languages," by Virginie Raguenaud.

Reading it on my Kindle made it harder to flip through and mark my favorite sections and take notes. I regret never having written that book review, because I really enjoyed the book.

The author writes from her own experience. She grew up speaking 3 languages and is raising her twins in French and English. I loved reading about her childhood memories, as she did her homework in one language and then would check her answers with her parents in another language.

I think the book's title (Bilingual by CHOICE) is key. Any family could promote bilingualism in their children, but it takes planning and intention. Although kids are resilient and learn fast, they can lose a language just as easily if they aren't given a chance or a reason to use it.

At the end of the book is a lengthy list of language-promoting activities to do with kids: things like going to the zoo or even observing a construction site and learning all the associated vocabulary.

The book contains a lot of good ideas, though there is no guarantee that what worked for the author would work for others as well.

I would love to hear how Virginie Raguenaud's children are doing now with their two (or more?) languages. I want to go back and read the book again, as well as the other one I liked, "Raising a Bilingual Child.." (read my review).

To whom?

To WHOM? (meaning, 'who have you come to visit?') This is often barked at me when I enter Russian establishments. I mean, the kind of establishments that have guards. To be even more precise, certain apartment buildings, and orphanages, and even the Consulate.

I have been grappling with why this is such a strange question for me, as an American.  Do we even demand to know people's business as they arrive? Or is it always something super-polite, as in, "How may I help you?" What question would they ask in other countries around the world?

It used to irk me at the orphanage, and actually it still does, because I'm always ready to say who I am, but then they ask whom I'm looking for. I know I should learn the right answer, but I usually end up saying something like "everyone" or "the children" since I go around to different groups. Really, I'm supposed to say "Group 2," or the counselor's name there. They want to know the name of the person expecting you, and then either they have you wait, or usher you right in.

At the Consulate it's even stranger. Andrei was surprised that they didn't let me in right away and welcome me with open arms like in the movies. I was eventually admitted into the building, and at the inner checkpoint, the officer asked, "KOMY?" Well, I was stumped. Whom on earth would I be visiting at the U.S. Consulate? I echoed the question with a befuddled look and he looked at my passport "Ahhhh, a citizen," and switched into English. No more questions.

Step into my library

No time for full-length reviews right now, but here are a few books I'm reading at the moment:

Linguistics
Raguenaud, Virginie Bilingual by Choice: Raising Kids in Two (or More!) Languages

It's hard to flip around and find quotes again on a Kindle, but I love this book as a mother's practical advice on raising kids "bilingual." I like how family-oriented the advice is and how much the author shares about her personal experience. She has lived what she writes about. At some point I want to write a more in-depth review.

Marriage/Family
Piper, John (et al) Sex and the Supremacy of Christ (download PDF)
Piper, John This Momentary Marriage (download PDF)

Stuffy, in Little Men, Louisa May Alcott

So far I like both of them; more Bible study than practical advice. Piper does a good job laying the foundations for what he is going to discuss, and it helps me keep my mind focused on Christ.

Just for Fun
Alcott, Louisa May Little Men

I've slowly been working through this book, just a chapter or two at a time. Good, wholesome stories about a boys' home and the family that runs it. But the stories also deal with surprisingly deep issues of discipline and loyalty and social ethics. Just in case you thought it was light reading. ;)

Planning (sort of)

There is not much to report on the wedding front. A few if-then scenarios, that is all. Mainly we just need to figure out what is required of me, a foreigner, and then get cracking.

I'm pretty good at spending copious amounts of time Googling researching fairly narrow fields of knowledge (like uses of baking soda). Especially when there's something else I'm supposed to be doing.

Lately, I've been interested in bilingualism again.

I wrote a book review on here awhile back, but it's also fascinating just hearing about people's multicultural childhoods.

I know a lot of you bloggers have adopted children. In that case the English is more of a second language and the mother tongue is still there, somewhere. I wonder how it feels. Maybe similar to how I feel knowing Russian. I can think in both and sometimes I'm not even aware of which one I'm using. But my Russian is nowhere near being a native language.

Did any of you grow up hearing and/or speaking two languages?

I'm excited that two of my siblings already have children being exposed to different languages in addition to English (Spanish and French). It will be interesting to observe their experiences and learn from them. And it will make for unique family gatherings, as well.

Anyway, I'm rambling. Sorry.

Russian language help

I was doing a search recently for something related to St. Petersburg, and ran across a Russian language podcast.

It features a 20-minute lesson with background, vocabulary explanation, and a short dialogue (transcript included).

The podcast host speaks real-l-ly slowly, but at least she's a native speaker and her intonation and pronunciation sound natural. If you are at an intermediate level in Russian, this is for you. The topics are practical and if you are disciplined enough to practice the vocabulary, you just might see some improvement!

Check out the site.