Towards a bilingual education

Andrei and I argued about bilingualism years before we even started dating.

He wasn't convinced true bilingualism was really possible, and I was determined to have a bilingual child in order to prove him wrong. I don't think I actually expected that we would marry each other, but I guess the thought of cross-cultural marriage didn't seem so far-fetched.

Of course, I'm oversimplifying the discussion. Here are some of the issues we argued about:

-Young children will get the two (or more) languages mixed up. I've seen clear evidence to this NOT being the case. Kids do mingle languages, but this happens when they either are missing a vocabulary word in one language, or a word is just easier to say in one of the languages. There's a more scientific way to say this, but basically it's selective, not a moment of confusion.

Although our kids insert the "other" language into their speech sometimes, they also have no problem distinguishing between the two. Case in point: Both of them, when still speaking only a few words, called us Mommy/Daddy or Mama/Papa depending on who they were talking to. Sophia will call me "Mommy" in English, but complain (ha) about "Mama" to Andrei. Same with "Papa," she will call him that to his face but turn around and tell me what "Daddy" is doing.

I guess that didn't really prove my point. Another example might be when David is talking about bugs and uses the Russian name for a bug because it's one he hasn't encountered in the U.S. or English-language nature shows. He's not confused, he just doesn't know the word.

-Bilingual kids will be behind their peers. I actually use this excuse a lot to go slower with school work. I don't completely agree because I think David in on par with his peers in many subjects. Even precocious in certain contexts. However, I will admit that if you run the numbers, it's hard for bilingual kids to receive the same input. If they are conversing 12 hours a day, in two languages equally, they will have only 6 hours of language acquisition as opposed to children who are exposed to one language. That's just the way it is. And it might not matter beyond a certain age, but there certainly might be manifestations in a younger child.

The school year so far

As usual I have many huge topics in my drafts folder, and I'm not sure when I will be able to sit down and finish those off. But no one wants to read long posts anyway, right? So maybe it's better to write about everyday life.

Home education:

David is 6 years old, kindergarten age for Russia but in U.S. he might be in first grade by now. At any rate, he's not going anywhere at the moment. It's partly the school system and partly his complexities. Let's just say he thrives most in a one-on-one environment (as opposed to the rumored 30-person class sizes at local schools). Although I wish he had more friends his age, I can also think of many wonderful adults in my life whom he would find very entertaining. It's just a matter of being open to the right opportunities. So, we aren't really worried about socializing him. It just might look different.

We thought about signing up for more classes at the cultural center down the street. But David did not seem eager about it. And since he's only 6, he's still within his rights to say no. ;) But we did decide to prioritize speech therapy at this point. There are many times when I've thought other parents were overzealous in terms of helping their children develop, but in this case I guess it's not just naturally going to get better. The exercises with a professional are clearly helping. A Canadian friend was helping David with his English last year, and he's added some sounds that were missing before. Meanwhile, he goes to a Russian lady now for speech therapy, and always gives a positive report when he comes back. I'm trying to picture myself as a child, going to see a lady for tutoring...I think I would have HATED it. I would have much rather stayed at home and read a book. But she obviously knows what she's doing, and he must enjoy the attention. They are working on pronunciation, reading, and pencil skills-all in a 30-minute session!

So...if we end up homeschooling for a few years (beyond preparation work we're doing now), I might just decide to employ some tutors OR find a group to join. I'd always pictured myself just preparing the subjects myself and presenting them. But I'm coming to accept that 1) I'm NOT an expert in all areas and 2) Other adults sometimes get a better response from my child.

On a side note, I've been reading a lot about Charlotte Mason. I like that there are lots of resources online, makes it quite doable from abroad. However, I'm just kind of exploring at the moment.

That's about all I have time for!

P.S. I decided it would be fun to fiddle with my blog theme to reflect the changing seasons. Everyone was saying a lighter background is better, anyway. Well...back about 10 years ago, I used to do all the changes to my blog design from scratch. Search around and find out how to change the html, etc. Just now I decided to switch the header photo, and it took about an hour getting it to the right size! I'm used to taking photos with Instagram squares rather than something long and narrow. And sadly, the quality is lost. That must mean my phone doesn't take very good photos...certainly nothing that could be enlarged to go in a frame. Very sad! I'll have to investigate further. And do something about my poor header. Another day.

Speaking two languages (with videos)

David turned 2.5 yrs old last month, and I haven't really written about his development lately...partly because I figure it really isn't that interesting to read about someone else's child month-by-month. :)

But there are some milestone issues I like to address, and since we are raising a bilingual child, that is something to comment on. He has taken a big leap forward from a few months ago.

February sunshine!

One Parent, One Language

It's worked pretty well for Andrei to speak Russian and for me to speak English at home. I had been used to speaking more Russian, but now I can switch back and forth pretty easily and stick to English even when everyone else around is speaking Russian. Like if A. is explaining something to David in Russian, I might jump in and reinforce what he's saying, but in English. It might sound funny to someone listening in, but it works.

David has demonstrated for a while that he knows to use different languages with different people. He has always called Andrei "Papa," but will talk to me about "Daddy," and while he calls me "Mommy," he refers to me as "Mama" to Russian friends and relatives. If he is conversing or even watching TV in one language, he will explain it to the other parent in his/her own language, and so on.

Which traditions do you choose?

Just realized that this is going to be another ex-pat post! I guess there's nothing like the holidays to prompt some cultural analysis.

Bulletin Board Christmas re-do

It's harder to pass on traditions when it isn't reinforced by the world around you when you walk out the door of your house! I am genuinely happy for my new parent (or aunt/uncle) friends who are able to take the kiddies to pumpkin patches, dress them in turkey onesies, and sit them on Santa's knee...followed by a spring photo shoot in pastels for Easter! These are very positive, fun traditions. But since they are mostly driven by culture and a nostalgia for one's childhood, they can quickly go from inspiring to irrelevant once you live abroad or don't celebrate with your siblings anymore.

I know I have often written on my blog about making new traditions. Maybe I even write the same thing each year and then forget about it. But I'm new to making traditions while parenting, so I still have a lot of unanswered questions for this stage of life.

Today I was thinking to myself...how do you explain this whole "Christmas season" thing to someone outside the American/Western culture? I'm really wondering this. What are elves? Who is Santa? Why red and green? Why snow? Why is it important to get in the "Christmas spirit"?

Bilingual tidbits and names for people

In an effort to become a part of the bigger bilingual world as a whole, I signed up to be on a mailing list for a blogging "carnival" where there is an assigned topic and everyone sends their submissions in to be on the master list.

Well, I sat down to tackle the May topic, only to find out that the deadline was May 18th. D'OH! Oh well, the topic was to do with technology, which is a little bit of a stretch for us at this point (aside from David screaming CARS at the top of his lungs daily until we put on an animated car video for him to watch).

Maybe next time the topic will be more relevant.

As I think I mentioned before, there are some links to bilingual blogs in my sidebar, and they in turn have links to more blogs. There is a lot of good content in there; book reviews, etc.


Here's one topic we've been discussing at home lately:

What do you teach your child to call strangers on the street? Walking by, in a store, or even casual acquaintances?

Whenever a Russian child points at a person walking by, his accompanying adult gives that person a title: "Dyadya/Tyotya (Uncle/Auntie) is most often used to differentiate men and women. If the person is obviously elderly, then maybe a Babushka/Dedushka (Grandmother/Grandfather) will do. And of course little babies are called little babies...well, you get the idea. Makes sense, right? Then with friends and acquaintances the child learns the person's name: Tyotya Olya, for example.

People keep asking me the English/American counterpart, and...I've got nothing! Honestly, I feel awkward shouting out Man/Woman/Girl/Boy whenever David points at someone. I'm not even sure I'm comfortable having him point at people. But at the same time it's such a natural process for the child to point and the parent to teach vocabulary. I don't know, I must just not have enough parenting experience. Either that or I've been abroad for too long. ;)

1+10

So today is Victory Day, but it's actually more of a family holiday for us. I even found myself wondering what time Vladimir got off work, forgetting that he wouldn't be working at all today on account of the holiday. 

I wonder what it's like for Russians today, remembering the past while in the midst of a modern conflict. Not even sure if I can fit my mind around it right now.

American-style, David is 22 months today. But most Russians I know say "a year and 10 months." Is it sort of like the difference between army time and not-army time (whatever the term is)? Whenever I say how many months old he is, I can see people converting into years in their head. 

We are still seeing many changes each month. I really should be doing weekly journal entries or something, but I manage to record some of it via photos, emails, etc. 

The biggest development lately has been the start of "make-believe" play. It started with David constantly putting out two objects, one for himself and one for us to sit on. Those were our "chairs." And then "hats." And now we're in full-blown "tea party" mode, where each attendant has his/her own dishes and even food...macaroni soup is the usual daily special. A lot of times I'll walk into the room to a new configuration and it will turn out that David planned out the whole thing and executed it himself. New seatings around the table, new dishes, etc. The other day he brought coasters in (from our bedside tables) to use as plates, and then went into the kitchen and took some little magnets off the refrigerator...they were placed onto the coasters and became "food." I'm so glad we recently acquired a child-sized table and chairs to help with these scenarios.

David feeding (l-r) "Mama,""Papa," and "Boy"

As far as speech, David still has more English active vocabulary than Russian. We were at a church retreat recently and everyone commented on how social he's become and on how his English is the cutest thing ever...they kept asking him to say "ba-na-na" in his unique way. He also refers to himself as "Boy" whenever he is telling what happened or asking for something. But then they wondered...where's the RUSSIAN? Patience, my friends. :) We just need to get Babushka and Dedushka over here a little more often and he will catch right up. 

Speaking of Babushka and Dedushka, they will be here in a little while with all the fixins' plus some gifts for the "birthday" boy, and I'm still in pajamas...oops. That's all for this little update. 

21 months (speaking)

David's vocabulary is increasing exponentially and I started to keep a list but have gotten tired of writing it all down! Of course some of the word use he initiates himself, and other words are ones he repeats after us or when prompted. It's exciting when he uses a word we didn't know he knew.

In general David's spoken vocabulary is heavier on the English, but I would say that he comprehends both languages equally well.

Sometimes he shows evidence of being able to differentiate. For example, I will ask where "Daddy" is, and he points to Andrei and says "Papa." Same with "Mommy" and "Mama." If Andrei asks him in Russian where "x" is, he points to the object and names it in English.

One of the more humorous habits he currently has is that he calls all women (and some men) "Mama" and random men "Papa." And this evening he was pointing to triangles on the wallpaper and calling them "Mama" and "Papa." Ummm.....


Word List for anyone interested:


"Oh no"

"No/Yeah" (shakes head no but doesn't nod yes yet)

"All done"

"Mo" (more)

"Muck" (milk)

"Cup"

"Door"

"Clock" (pronounced without the 'l')

"Tuck" (truck)

"Car"

"Book" :)

"Ball"

"Sees" (sit/chair/anything to do with sitting?)

"Mama," "Papa," "Ma-pa," "Pa-ma"

"Tam!" (Russian for "there," used to answer any inquiries as to where something is or what happened to it or used to give directions)

"Spsssps" (Spasibo,=thank you)/ "Takoo" (thank you)

"Poka/Bye!"

Various articles of clothing, various body parts



Compared to 2 months ago that's quite a change. But it's kind of sad that he's already losing some of those cute sound effects!

David's "vocabulary," 19 months

I'm just sort of typing this out to remember it later! We honestly haven't been paying attention much to where he should be for his age, and are expecting a delay due to having two languages.

Communication is happening, verbal and otherwise.


"Arf-arf!" -Dog

High-pitched squealing/giggling -Bird

"Zzzzzzzz." -Car

Slurping/sipping noise -I want a drink of water

Growling noise -Bear/Tiger/etc.

Gesturing with hand/aahhhhh -Hot

Gesturing with hand/ohhhhhh -Cold

Shaking head -No/I don't want to/I don't want to stop.

"Boom!" -Fireworks/firecrackers outside

"Bam!" -I hit my head (or other body part).

"Co-co" or "Coo-coo." -Quack (Duck)/Cookie

"Bl-bl-bl" -Belly button

"D-d-d" -Daddy or Daddy's things

"M-m-m" -Mommy/milk (nurse)

"B-b-b"- Bread

"Blech" -Yucky/trash

"Too-toooo"- Train/Let's go (to another room, for instance)

"Too-tah" -Туда (Russian for "that way" or "over there")

"Ai!"/"Oi!" -Exclamation


Those are the ones he uses with me, Andrei or Nina might have more in Russian.

12 months and beyond

David is growing in leaps and bounds. I know that probably sounds cliche as they change so much day-to-day. But he really is transitioning in major ways. One thing is that he is more "teachable" in that we can show him how to do certain things (intentionally or not) and he repeats them. He's waving, "snapping" his fingers, and using certain tools. He takes laundry out of the washing machine and puts it back in. He takes lids off containers and tries to put them back on. He takes his socks off and mimics fastening and unfastening velcro straps. Etc., etc...

Though not walking around freely yet like some of his peers, David is a VERY interactive child. He is always aware if someone new has entered the room and he "yells" at him/her until he gets a greeting. When he is proud of himself, he looks around and makes eye contact with EACH person to make sure everyone is looking and praising. He adores having little "conversations" with people even if it's just a game of peekaboo.

So here's the challenge...David is at an age now where I take him OUT of the stroller when we go on walks.

That might mean more dirty clothes for us, but it ALSO means more social interaction. And as a bilingual parent, I feel a little awkward. In Russia, my language is less dominant. So I feel a little funny speaking it in public. And yet, I don't want David to feel that one of his languages is something to be ashamed of.

The neighbors on our street in Massachusetts this summer had a French-speaking nanny. We could hear her speaking French to them from across the street. Maybe I could create a cool nanny image for myself?

I just get into those situations where it's more necessary to be verbal, and that means speaking Russian. So do I:  A) Speak Russia with the other people and English with David, B) Speak Russian with other people and switch to Russian with David when in public, or C) Just keep a low profile and improvise depending on the situation?

Even the SOUNDS of childhood are different. The "oops," "boing," "whee," "vroom." Those sound different in another language! And they might sound funny to onlookers (but hopefully not obscene).

On a Russian playground, there is a lot of instructing going on. It's constant commentary from the mothers (and grandmothers and even fathers) accompanying their charges. Here is how you go up the ladder, here is how you go down the slide, here is how you share your toys, here is how you brush your clothes off if you fall. It is great for language learning, I'm sure. But to be honest, I also get a little overstimulated being privy to all that information.

I park David near the slide to watch how a little girl goes down. Her mother sees a teaching opportunity and brings her over, saying gently, "There's a BOY. See the BOY? Say HELLO to the boy. Are you being shy? What's the matter? Go on."  The little girl manages a little grin and giggle and David offers a jerky wave in their direction after their backs are already turned and they're walking away. I didn't tell David to say hello to them. I didn't know what language to use.

David will learn the Russian well enough. He's got a Russian father and grandparents. For English language purposes, we may need to find ourselves a playgroup. And he'll learn his second language, too. It's just figuring out the mixed situations that's a little tricky.

I've linked to a few bilingual blogs in my sidebar. I guess I'll take a look and see if any of them address this.