Sophia's Birth Story, Part 3

Part 1

Part 2


My non-stress test was Thursday, and I would be 42 weeks on Monday. The next day (Friday), my sister was trying to make weekend plans with us, as my aunt was visiting her from the west coast. There was the possibility of meeting up at a playground or similar location on Saturday.

I didn't want to commit to anything, and the more I thought about it, the more I doubted I could handle a car ride. Wait a minute...I wasn't feeling well at all!

Other ladies in the birth forums had been feeling terrible for ages. Aching joints, contractions, etc. If I was just starting to feel poorly, it didn't necessarily mean something was happening...

At dinner, I went easy on the garlic aioli, just in case the nausea was going to start like it had with David, right at dinnertime!

I finally had to admit to my mom that I wasn't sure I would make it through the night. With David, the contractions had started at least 48 hours before. So I hated to get my hopes up, but then again, we had to be prepared.

A skunk had sprayed outside. I remembered the same thing when I was in labor the first time, heading out to the car in the middle of the night.

I couldn't even help David brush his teeth. Andrei took over and I retreated to the other room for the night. The contractions were just about 10 minutes apart, all night long. And that brings me to my birth plan...

Sophia's birth story, Part 2

Part 1 

Part 3


After about 39 weeks or so, the midwives started asking if I wanted them to check me, which I didn't. I declined scheduling an induction too. One midwife told me I could "go ahead and schedule" the next few appointments. You mean there's going to be more than one? Depressing.

What was required now at every appointment was a "non-stress test" to monitor fetal activity. A good idea in theory, but not very comfortable. Sophia had thankfully gone head down, but was still flopping around due to my diastasis recti. Reclining in the chair was the worst possible position, and they couldn't get the monitor to stay in place.

A few more weeks went by and I was now more than 41 weeks. At 42 weeks it was Game Over. Funny how you can go the whole pregnancy avoiding complications, only to have the baby forcibly evicted in the end!

It turned out that this appointment was going to be my last before being induced. My dad waited for 3 (!) hours as they kept me on the monitor, then sent me down for an ultrasound, then back up to schedule the induction for first thing Monday. The midwife finally convinced me to have an internal exam, ouch. I could have sworn she was actually trying to get things going.

I wasn't crazy about the nurse OR the midwife that were on duty, and they were both scheduled to work Monday as well. It wasn't looking good for proceeding naturally. When I finally got to leave, they kept saying "see you Monday!" Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence! 4 days to get something started.

To be Continued...

Sophia's birth story, Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

While I'm facing the reality of a post-partum body and having a newborn all over again, it seems like a good time to review the miracle of Sophia's birth!

(for anyone just tuning in, we live in St. Petersburg, Russia, but I traveled both times to the U.S. to give birth...)

There were a few things about David's birth experience that we changed right away, or at least hoped to do differently. For one thing, I switched from the local Ob-Gyn in my hometown to a midwifery practice in a neighboring town. Longer commute, but a very caring community for the most part. Different birth plan, too-but I'll get to that later.

As my pregnancy progressed, I was often measuring ahead of schedule, and wondered if this baby might be early. I also had gestational diabetes, though. Once I got on a diet, my weight gain slowed down and things seemed more normal. But I still wondered if I might go early.

Once I got towards my due date, though, I had zero symptoms of labor. Same as with David! I mean, not a hint. I barely even felt pregnant. I was carrying really low though (low tone in abdominal muscles), and was told repeatedly that baby had "dropped" and that I looked "ready." Actually, I started getting those comments about 2 months before she was born.

Old Wives' Tales

I was looking for games for a baby shower for a friend of mine, and I thought it might be fun to look up some old wives' tales about pregnancy and design a trivia challenge.

Myths and legends are fun, right?

Well I was looking at this site expecting it to "debunk" the myths, but instead it offered scientific explanations for why they were TRUE.

And that made me realize that it wouldn't make for a very good game in mixed company. I will share them here for anyone interested, but take a pass if pregnancy is a sensitive topic for you.


Old Wives' Tales Regarding Pregnancy: Worth Taking Note (loosely translated from this article)

Things you shouldn't do:

1) Take up handcrafting (Sewing, Knitting, Embroidery), because it will result in a birthmark on the baby's cheek.

Verdict: TRUE! The birthmark part is hard to say for sure, but this kind of activity done sitting down is bad for the baby because of poor blood flow...


2) Hang laundry

Verdict: TRUE! Not only hanging laundry, but any activity requiring you to lift your arms above your head is quite risky. It could lead to miscarriage...


3) Cross your legs

Verdict: TRUE..blah blah blah (don't feel like translating)


4) Sit in a doorway or climb through a window

Verdict: TRUE! You could catch a cold, and a doorstep is too low to the ground, and window-climbing is too strenuous (well, yeah).


Okay, as I went through these again I realized that they were replacing the more pagan explanations (borders between things are always dangerous) with a more modern twist. So they do sound rather sensible, but I still think there are too many rules. Because as we all know, women in "the family way" are to avoid stress, and scaring them away from each and every activity is not likely to have a calming effect!

I'm sure some more examples have come up in conversation, but I think the weirdest one for me personally was that I was "supposed" to have a C-section because I'm near-sighted and the exertion would rupture my retinas!

Diastasis Recti: Failing Miserably

So I've been working on healing my diastasis recti for about a year now, and I haven't made too much progress. There's been a little physical/strengthening progress, and also a lot of gleaning information and interacting with other people in the same boat.

The last time I wrote I mentioned yo-yo-ing, which is still going on, and a lot of times I just feel huge (for a non-pregnant person) in general, with respects to how my clothes fit, etc. At least 3 people have asked me if I'm pregnant in the past few months, and that didn't do a lot for my self-esteem (let alone for our friendship, LOL). That is definitely one aspect of DR I'd like to leave behind. Ideally I would take the opportunity to raise awareness, but it's not always convenient, especially in an awkward moment.

David is mostly done nursing, and we'll see what happens to my body next. One person said that my body has gotten used to "eating for two" and therefore I'm eating too much or something, but I don't think that's true, just that my body has gotten used to hanging on to it? Another person said she immediately dropped the last 20 lbs once she weaned her child, and others said there was no correlation for them.

Anyway, the point is not to lose weight, it's to see if breastfeeding (whether it's hormones or metabolism or what) or bulk in the wrong places is interfering with the healing process, and tackling those issues might be the key to retraining the muscles.

Also, my splint is pretty much dead, which adds to discouragement, because it makes me feel like I've gotten bigger, even though the velcro can certainly up and die from frequent use, not because it's having trouble containing my body! I guess I will go out and buy another one, in my correct size. It might seem like a big expense, but compared to a tummy tuck it isn't much.

So once again I've been slacking a bit on the exercises, and I have this dilemma of whether or not to go ahead without the support of a splint. I'm feeling like I still need one, but I don't want to go completely stagnant while waiting to get a new one.

So that's the situation right now. I definitely have a a few strategies I'm thinking of, but nothing to share yet!

Diastasis Recti: The Yo-Yo Effect

I've been stuck trying to write this post for several months now. I don't know what took me so long...maybe I wanted to wait until I actually had progress before checking in?

The title of this post pretty much says it all: healing from diastasis recti is a journey of ups and downs. Some of this is just the nature of the problem; I've heard people say that their progress stalled for quite some time closing up the next 1/2 inch whereas in the beginning the progress was more evident. But in addition to this, the motivation factor is inconsistent.

As I mentioned before, I had seen some results due to splinting. However, diastasis recti fitness is similar to dieting in that your progress might be obvious on an empty stomach or right after you've worked out, but in reality it takes a lot more work before that is your constant condition. With diastasis recti (and probably abdominal fitness in general), your initial "engaged" position (where your tummy is as flat as you can manage) will eventually become your new "relaxed" position. In other words, once you've made progress, what you look like when you slouch is what you used to look like when you were trying your hardest to suck in your gut. That's good news, right? Though it still doesn't mean a flat tummy, it's impressive in a comparative way.


Here are some comparisons I can now make.

Starting point (after diagnosis)

Relaxed position: I look 5 months pregnant? Belly sticks out and is sort of hard, not simply flabby. If I look down, I can't see my belly button.
Engaged: I lose a few inches, but look bloated/chubby/post-partum. Can't suck tummy in "all the way."

Later on (9 months or so)

Relaxed position: I look bloated/chubby/post-partum. Not sure if I could pass for just chubby or not. I'm not an expert, but it looks like the gap is still visible, like there are two halves to my abdomen. I feel like I've lost weight, but my clothes are still pretty tight. Maybe things have just moved up or down.
Engaged: Relatively flat, but with wrinkly/extra skin. Belly button has come out of hiding but is still kind of buried.


Exercise update: Part of why I stopped exercising for awhile was that I needed a better splint. I was afraid that rigorous exercise would make the gap open up even wider. My parents recently shipped me a new splint (a Scott binder which is specifically for this purpose), and after just one week my stomach is significantly flatter. However, I've been investigating this topic long enough to know that without training the muscles, everything will all go back to where it was. The splint is just there to prevent further injury and "suggest" to the muscles how to move. So I am really trying to do those exercises and at the very least try to engage my core as I go about my day.

A sign of progress is that I know now HOW to engage the core. I think that I'd always had a weak core, but never worked on it, as my stomach was flat (hard to believe). I could literally only do 1-2 sit-ups. What a traumatic experience pregnancy and childbirth must have been for my poor body! But it came through for me. :)

My Journey with Diastasis Recti

Introduction: After spending a lot of time thoughtfully typing out this post, I peeked back at an older post, only to find that I'd already written almost the exact same description, ha ha! In lieu of deleting most of the following story, I think I'll leave it as is. I want this particular experience to have its own tribute. So there you have it. Sorry to my more observant readers for the repetition! ;)

Post-partum Bellies

I was "all baby" when I was pregnant. And I figured it would just melt right off. Well, I think it would have if it weren't for a problem which I hadn't foreseen.

It can be hard to gain explicit information on the post-partum body. To be fair, there is so much variation that it's difficult to pin down a common path of healing. However, there are plenty of conditions that are more common than we're led to think. And why are we not told, or at least checked for them? We need more information than to look for a fever, excessive bleeding, or to just "give it time."

The thing is, that "common" isn't the same thing as "normal." What about looking for remedies, rather than just accepting certain aches and pains as your fate? It seems that a lot of post-partum issues are presented as inevitable or just common battle wounds that go with the territory; "accept your new body and move on." I am thankful that I live in an age where I can ask questions and get information on the Internet without needing to be embarrassed.


Diagnosis

Several months after David was born, I started Googling things like "baby bump not pregnant" and "stomach sticks out post-partum." Of course a lot of the initial results talked about "Mommy Tummy," and having a "pooch" that you try to eliminate by doing intensive workouts and LOTS of crunches. In other words, Welcome to the Club.

Not that I was eager to take up fitness in the first place, but even with the added incentive of wanting to look my best, something just told me my body was broken. And when that's the case, you don't want to work it harder. I didn't want to abuse my poor body until I knew what was going on.

At the moment, it's hard to find those original search results thanks to Royal Baby publicity. ;) But I eventually found a condition that perfectly matched what was going on: a separation of the abdominal muscles, as opposed to just extra flab. It's called diastasis recti.

I did go to a doctor to have this diagnosis confirmed. Guess how the doctor did it? She had me lie on my back and lift my head up a little. BINGO! Funny alien ridge in tummy.

That was 13 months post-partum.


Prognosis

"It will never close without an operation." Sounds harsh, right? But if we back up a few months, I'd had plenty of time to investigate on my own while I was waiting for my appointment. In fact, what the doctor said may as well have been scripted-I'd heard that medical professionals will mostly recommend the surgery and nothing else.

In her assessment, there was nothing that could be done. The flipside to that is the intense ab workouts you see advertised, guaranteeing a flat stomach. I really wasn't into that, and once I'd read up on diastasis recti, I realized that those could make the problem worse.

But I wanted to get better, and I was encouraged when I stumbled upon a handful of resources that offered healing via gentle exercise, as well as testimonials of women who had seen improvement even YEARS after having babies.

Fit2B Studios is where I first ran across the idea of "tummy-safe" exercises. You pay a membership fee to access the workouts, but there is lots of information on there too. I'm able to memorize the basics of the workouts, to use throughout the day whenever I get a chance. And even when I don't necessarily use the videos a lot, I don't regret supporting this cause.

Other than specific exercise routines, I found a community of other diastasis recti sufferers, both on Fit2B and on other women's blogs. It's one of those things where the problem is common enough that a LOT of people have it (though may not know it), but not common enough that your closest friends and family would be aware. This has happened to me with a lot of women's issues, actually. What's a bicornuate uterus? What's an umbilical cord cyst? What's granulation tissue? What is diastasis recti? Again, I'm thankful to be able to check this out in a larger community via the Internet.

After my official diagnosis, I also paid a visit to a physical therapist. I told her that I was concerned with closing my diastasis and working on my core strength. She did an assessment and confirmed that my hips are really weak (chronic). While she didn't talk much about my abdomen, she did make sure that any of the moves she showed me were "tummy-safe." In fact, she was impressed with how I had already learned how to safely get up from a lying-down position. That's thanks to the diastasis recti material I'd read online. So she didn't solve my problem, but she helped me work on other underlying issues, and hopefully that will contribute to a healthier me (if I can remember to do the exercises!).

So, my treatment plan went/is going like this:

-Internet research
-Diagnosis by a medical professional
-Support from an online community
-Assessment by a physical therapist
-Exercises appropriate for the situation

And of course, those of my real-life friends and family who know about this have offered prayers and supported me in looking for help.

This post is getting too long, but I just wanted to say that I've become interested in raising awareness of diastasis recti. So if you are anyone you know seems to be suffering from this condition, I'd be happy to recommend some resources. :) And of course I'm interested in any ideas you'd have to share, as well!

Women's Health

Probably not one for the guys...sorry, guys.

I'm feeling the need to share vent write about some postpartum experiences, particularly the parts that have more to do with me and my feelings than the baby (though there will be overlap.

The first issue I would like to address is that of the physical healing from childbirth. I was fairly disappointed with the aftercare that I got, in both the U.S. and Russia.

When you have just been through a very graphic medical experience (natural or not), it's not the best time for delicacy and people withholding certain details that would be useful. Following childbirth, you want to know how to feel as normal as possible again. This is probably true about major operations, too. My other main experience was wisdom teeth extraction (don't laugh), and that took WEEKS of recovery, due to complications that also could have been avoided.

Childbirth IS natural, after all, but that doesn't mean we are born knowing what is going to happen. When it was all over, I really wanted to know things like how long, what color, how big, how thick, how painful. When I was still on the maternity ward, the nurses were great and even walked me through a few things like bathroom visits. But after that I really could have used a personal nurse for, say...a few months.

I was sent home with a 30-page printout with a list of recommendations like calling the doctor when I had a fever. It was all very surface-level, general, unhelpful information.

I sometimes feel like until you actually try to troubleshoot, they will give you the minimal information. As I said, I wish I'd had more detailed information, like how to bathe myself properly for healing purposes, or how to protect my stitches from ripping.

The most helpful resource has probably been online forums where it's possible to ask some of those sensitive questions, while remaining somewhat anonymous.

I do realize that numbers aren't always helpful, though. A lot of sources state, "it took you 9 months to grow the baby, give yourself 9 months to recover." Below I will address the issue of still looking pregnant a YEAR after having a baby.

Meanwhile, I managed to get into the OB/GYN at 4 weeks and again at 6 weeks postpartum, before heading back to Russia. The doctor, busy as always, said that I "wasn't completely healed yet" but that I WAS healing, and that I would "just know" when I was done healing.

It was an interesting experience to read over the copy of my records that I requested to bring back to Russia with me. There I was able to find out what degree of tearing I'd had, what tests they had run, etc. As well as a complication that the doctor had described to ME as "not completely healed," but was actually written down on paper as something worse...continue reading/-

...Back in Russia, having been waylaid in Estonia for a month, I finally went to visit the OB/GYN who had done my pregnancy checkups. Her assessment was that the only way out was surgery under general anesthesia, and that it would be best to wait until the baby was weaned. (!) She prescribed a bunch of creams, which I was not able to use as they were not safe for breastfeeding.

I decided to revisit the issue at a later date.

Meanwhile....

It was fun to be "all baby," but it had its consequences, too. When I had visited the Russian clinic during pregnancy, they looked at my spine and said I would need to wear a belly support during and after pregnancy, to prevent back pain. I never had increased back pain during pregnancy, though. Another garment during the summer months didn't sound very comfortable, so I didn't bother.

When David was just a few weeks/months old, I did get a few comments as to when my "due date" was. I was fairly good-natured about it and gave myself time. However, having a thin frame, I lost the weight everywhere else and I was left with this belly bulge. But it wasn't FAT, it was something else.

Something was not right.

People suggested crunches, but you know when your instinct causes you to hesitate? My body just still felt "broken." Was rigorous exercise really the care it needed?

10 months postpartum. I did some scouring of the Internet and found that I may have an abdominal wall separation that is causing this protrusion. Not surprising given the weight I carried around, but surprising considering the 10 or so people who examined me during and after pregnancy and never said a thing.

I haven't gotten an official diagnosis, but I'm exploring some tummy-safe fitness options to move on with healing.

Not wanting to find a trainer here and try to explain my situation, I ended up ordering a book for my Kindle, I think it's the one by Helene Byrne. However, as a non-fitness person, it was pretty hard to decipher how to do the exercises just going by the drawings and descriptions.

Another thing I had heard about in blog circles was an online fitness portal called "Fit 2 B Studio." I was skeptical, but gave it a try as a last option. I was pleasantly surprised by the first few workouts. It is very easy to figure out the exercises (at least the beginners level), and the instructor talks in this calm way that makes the time go by really fast. It's different from counting repetitions. You just listen to her narration while trying the new moves, and the next thing you know, you've done the workout! I also joined the members forum and everyone there is really helpful.

I'm not doing any measuring, though. Just trying to work some gentle tummy exercises into my daily routine and we'll see what the doctor says when I have a chance to check in.

So, hopefully no surgery on either count.

Birth Story

WARNING: Gynecological-related language.

Introduction:

When I was "preparing" for childbirth, the main books that helped me were "Ina May's Guide to Childbirth" and "Natural Hospital Birth: The Best of Both Worlds." I read lots of information and changed my mind several times. And of course, there were many aspects of labor that were different from what I had expected.

At first I read a lot about natural childbirth, and it turned me off from the way hospitals handle childbirth. I started to get nervous that my labor would stall as soon as I set foot on hospital grounds, and that I would be subjected to various procedures against my will.

Then I ran across some stories about "home births" gone wrong, and I decided I would feel better being in the medical setting of the hospital, even with its sterile environment. As it turned out, David needed help breathing when he was born, so we did need medical intervention. But then again, who knows if my labor would have been as long as it was in a different environment. In any case, we are all alive and healthy.

Now for the details...
read more/-

Pregnancy:

I had a fairly uncomplicated pregnancy, except for a few weird things they found on ultrasounds, like a bi-cornuate uterus and an umbilical cord cyst. By the time I was in the U.S. at 33 weeks being examined, they couldn't see either of those.

Meanwhile, I found the "dating" system confusing. Ultrasounds, OB/GYN visits, and my own calculations all yielded different results. They kept saying growth was "behind" by 5-6 days, but since it was so consistent, I wasn't worried.

The baby was breech at one point, but then turned head down. However, the doctors seemed unable to tell me what his position was, other than that. And when I felt the baby moving around, I found it very hard to tell what was what!

I also had very few signs that labor was imminent, so I fully expected to go past my "due date" of July 6th. I felt fine and didn't have any contractions.

Due to things I had read, I felt that regular cervix checks were unnecessary and inaccurate in predicting when labor would start, so I refused them a few times, until my 40-wk appointment when I was found to be 1 cm dilated.

I will say that I appreciated not feeling rushed by the OB-GYN practice I used. They didn't force me to accept certain procedures and they didn't mention inducing labor or there being anything wrong with my not having labor symptoms. They mentioned that the baby seemed smallish, but didn't make any comments as to how much weight I had gained, what I should/shouldn't eat, do, etc. There are times when you want more feedback, but it was nice not to feel judged.

Labor:

Friday evening, July 6th: When I went to bed, I was having cramps and it felt like the baby was having a party in there. I couldn't sleep and felt very restless and uncomfortable, all night.

Saturday: The pains got down to 6 minutes apart. Books I had read said to "ignore" early labor, partly to save pain-management techniques for later. Of course I was like a watched pot (so to speak) at this point, so it was hard to act like everything was normal. I went to the grocery store with my mom and of course we ran into tons of people we knew, while I was sort of in the "zone." I think my mom managed to whisper to everyone that something was happening. Of course to other people it was exciting, but to me...yuck.

Saturday evening: I had managed to get through the day sort of "ignoring" symptoms while keeping a vague idea of how regular cramps were happening. I decided to try to sleep.

Sunday morning: Things had slowed down overnight, so I was glad I hadn't gotten my hopes up. Then the cramps slowly started intensifying again. At first I still had a good appetite and felt pretty upbeat. Then a couple things started happening over the course of the day, like losing the mucus plug and going to the bathroom a lot. And then by dinnertime I didn't want to eat anymore and felt pretty nauseous.

Sunday evening: It was looking like I was in labor. The main symptoms were the cramps, but it didn't feel like the baby was dropping at all. And my water hadn't broken. I wanted to stay at home for as long as possible, because I could have a while to go and I didn't want to get to the hospital too early and be "on the clock" and pressured to be induced or whatever.

My sister was calling to see if she should come up from Connecticut. I wasn't able to talk on the phone at that point but decided that I wanted her to come, even if I wasn't really in labor yet. Having a toddler, the childbirth experience was fresh in her mind, and she could help me cope.

Now my birth support team was assembled: my sister, my mom, and Andrei. I tried to remember all the advice I had heard/read. I tried walking around, but my feet hurt too much carrying all that weight. We couldn't figure out the counter-pressure and all I could really do was lie down. I tried to eat to keep my strength up, but wasn't hungry. Contractions were down to 4 minutes apart or so-I don't really remember, but they were regular.

Sunday night: Around 1 am we left for the hospital. I think I was just ready for doctors to assess me, and to get the car ride over with. We headed out to the car, and a skunk had done its nightly spray...yuck.

I was just starting to get pukey at this point, and had to bring a bag with me in the car. When we pulled up at the hospital, I was in the middle of a contraction/vomiting. Fun.

A nurse from labor/delivery came down to meet us. On the way up, she was asking some questions and I was sort of aware that I was being assessed as to my demeanor, etc. I don't think I actually had any contractions on the way up there, of course that always seems to be the case.

I got put on the monitors right away. I had planned on sort of avoiding the monitoring as much as possible. But now that we were at the hospital, I didn't care. I think in many cases it's best to just do what you're told so that the medical staff can be calm and in turn help you stay calm. But the monitors did get annoying later on.

The monitors showed that my contractions were very regular, but when the doctor checked me, I was only 3 cm dilated. She was completely unemotional and said, "You've got another 10-12 more hours." I could see my mother and sister reacting sympathetically.

Coping with the pain

Well, who needs to look at the clock anyway? I tried to avoid doing so myself. The first method to try was the birthing tub. We got it all filled up and I climbed in, but to be honest it really didn't help with anything.

Every 90 minutes or so I got hooked up to the monitors again.

I tried to walk around, but it was too painful. I tried sitting on a birthing ball...nope.

I tried to keep drinking liquids so I could avoid an IV. However, I got to the point where I was throwing up during/after each contraction. I was really thirsty, but just couldn't drink enough to stay hydrated. So eventually I had to get the IV, which obviously restricted my movements....

Here I had come to the point which they warn you about in the natural birthing literature. Once you get hooked up to an IV, you can't move around, labor doesn't progress...blah blah blah. Well, that may have been true, but my thinking was that I wanted to still have energy to push my baby out. I hadn't planned on throwing up so much during labor and it prevented me from staying energized without medical interventions.

A few more hours went by; it had probably been 8-9 more hours by this point. The doctor came by to check me before her shift ended, but I refused a cervical check. She said the baby was still really high and definitely posterior. Thanks.

Failure to progress?

Eventually another doctor started his shift and checked me to find that I was only at about a 5. At this point the talks of inducing labor began, except that they don't call it that, of course. He said he could break my water, or maybe start me on some Pitocin. I was torn as to what to do, and he said he could give us 30 minutes to think.

Now if the doctor gives you time to think, you know that you're not in an emergency situation. I thought that on the one hand, I could go on laboring without intervention for several more hours, and let nature take its course.

On the other hand, the IV fluids didn't seem to be helping much. I felt really thirsty and weak, and when I thought about several more hours of contractions PLUS pushing, I felt that I needed some help.

Also, I can't remember when, but something was going on with the fetal monitor and sometimes the nurses would rush into the room to check. I didn't want to end up with an emergency C-section because the baby was in distress. I have heard that the readings can change due to contractions or the mother's position, but there is still a risk of something happening that many hours into labor.

I decided to go ahead with the doctor breaking my water. Meanwhile, he had warned that contractions would pick up after the amniotomy, but they had ALREADY been intense for 10 hours or so. Therefore I agreed to some painkillers via IV.

Crazy medical staff

It really is how they describe it...the nurses are in your face too much and the doctors are elusive when you're giving birth.

In the wee hours of morning there was a shift change and we got a new nurse. For some reason the night nurse didn't do registration and the morning nurse did, so now that my contractions were worse and I didn't feel like talking to anyone, I had to answer a barrage of questions. The first round included questions that I had written on the forms. I couldn't understand why the nurse couldn't just get my information from there. Then there was a round of very odd questions such as "what is your learning style?" This was in the MIDDLE of contractions. I basically would ignore the nurse and shoot a look at one of my support people to help out, or answer "No," when the nurse asked, "Can you tell me....?". According to hospital protocol, medical staff should regularly ask the patient for his full name/birthdate. I suppose it can confirm lucidity and also confirm that medication is being given to the right patient, etc. But it is not something you ask of a woman in labor! There was a point there when I did not want to be answering questions, and I didn't want anyone else in the room to be discussing anything, either!

Too much pain!

I thought I had heard that having the doctor break your water was no big deal. Well, I found it fairly uncomfortable. Afterwards, they kept turning me from my back to my side and back again and changing the pads under me as everything got soaked. Very messy! I heard the doctor saying that there was meconium in the waters, and that the baby would need to be checked when he was born.

The contractions did get more painful, and there was this confusion with the doctor being in a C-section and needing to be tracked down to approve the order for painkillers. The nurse had promised to put the order in, but I never really felt relief. Meanwhile, they had supposedly given me morphine and I didn't remember what the effects of it were supposed to be and I didn't have time to find out. I suppose it may have made me sleepy between contractions, but I'm not sure.

My support people were taking turns napping one at a time while the other two would help me breathe through contractions. It seemed like everyone had his own rhythm, though! Also, the contractions on the monitor didn't necessarily correspond to what I was feeling. Sometimes one of my support people would start doing the breathing before I felt the contraction! Or I would hear "here comes a big one," uh oh!

The pain really felt unbearable at this point. I can't remember if I was still vomiting, but I started to raise my voice more, and I had a sore throat for several days afterward. I didn't want people touching me except in certain ways (that sounds weird, but you know what I mean). The nurse usually violated these orders and would sometimes do something like press on my abdomen in the middle of a contraction. I remember yelling, "my stomach!" However, there was no swearing or yelling at my husband that I hated him.

Pushing

After a few more hours, I was fully dilated! Of course it was good news, but I didn't have any urge to push, whatsoever. But the good part about pushing is that you have something to do during the contraction, other than just survive it.

Here again I was hoping to try an alternative method, something more intuitive, less painful, more effective, whatever.

But I didn't have any inklings as to what would be best! The doctor actually said I could do whatever was comfortable, and I started out on all fours. After some practice pushing, he said it wasn't a good position.

So I asked the doctor for his opinion as to a good position, considering the baby was posterior. I thought I had heard something about a squatting bar, but somehow that never made an appearance. I ended up...you guessed it, on my back with the stirrups. The doctor claimed that it would help gravity do its work. Really? Okay.

I pushed for about 90 minutes. I really gave it my all because I was so ready to be done! Some people like it quiet at this stage, but all the encouragement of my support people was really helpful. We had just gotten a new nurse and she was standing up by my head looking into my eyes and saying I was doing a great job. And I believed her! But I REALLY couldn't have done it without my husband. Whenever I felt like I was pushing my hardest, he would tell me to push just a little harder, and we would make progress.

It was a little disappointing each time I pushed because I kept hoping this would be it, and then it wasn't. Over and over again. But everyone's encouragement helped me keep going.

The room was bustling with people prepping the room for delivery. I think the pediatrics team even came and introduced themselves.

Finally one of the pushes was "the one," and there was this huge fountain of poop-tainted fluid that splashed all over everyone! Then David was whisked away, where his dad and aunt watched the doctors work on him and my mom stayed with me. I've already written about that here.

David was 8 lbs 2 oz, and I have to admit I was a little proud for carrying that around, especially after my doctors had kept saying he was on the small side.

They brought him over to me all swaddled and all I got to do was give him a little kiss before they carried him off.

Meanwhile, the doctor was still working on me. I heard him tell them to add more painkillers to the IV as he worked on fixing me up. The placenta was detached or something and he had to go in there and remove it manually, pretty unpleasant, but successful.

When it was all over I just lay there and the nurse would come periodically and change the pads under me.

My mom called my dad to come meet his namesake. Arrangements were being made for David to be transferred to a NICU in another hospital. They explained that they can't usually arrange for the parents to stay there too. We could have tried to work something out, but decided to just spend the night in our hospital.

When David was all hooked up to a machine and ready to go in the ambulance, they brought him in so I could say "goodbye." It wasn't as upsetting as it could have been because I was pretty out of it. Andrei later showed me a little video of David lying there crying in the nursery, and that was sort of upsetting considering I couldn't be there with him, but I guess you could say our bonding was just delayed a little.

Eventually everyone left and things quieted down and some friends came by to congratulate us, and then we had our hospital dinner and went to our room.

Oh, David was born at 3:35 pm and we had gotten to the hospital at 1 am.

Maybe I will write the postpartum story later. For now, at least I've gotten this far!

It's a boy, but...

It's interesting how the gender scan and anatomy scan take place simultaneously (the ultrasound, that is), so just as the unborn baby starts to take on an imagined personality, you may get devastating news about his development. That's not meant to be a complaint, just an observation.

But I suppose it was always that way. Before ultrasounds, you found out your baby's gender and his overall condition on the day of his birth, not before. And there was always the mixture of feelings, but it was still a gift of life.

After finding out we were having a boy, the ultrasound technician went on to check all the major organs, each time mentioning what COULD go wrong, but then mentioning that ours was normal. Then at one point she noticed something.

"Hmmmm, there's a something something. Very interesting. Let's hope that's the only anomaly." Ummm, what?

Then the machine broke.

Andrei hastily grabbed a paper towel to cover me up as someone came in to look at the machine. Then he took the moment to ask the technician what she had seen.

"There's a cyst on the something something,"she said.

The machine started up again and then broke again, but she had gotten all the measurements and we were ready to go home, even without the freaky alien fancy advanced imagery.

I got home and looked up the word...an umbilical cord cyst (you can see a bubble in the pictures).

I did a tiny bit of research and decided there wasn't anything helpful online. The doctor never called to offer additional testing or anything, not that we would have done it anyway.

It's interesting how the baby makes his presence felt. In the first trimester you feel yucky, so you know something's going on, and in the second trimester you start showing and then you feel him kicking, so you know he's still in there.

After waiting a month and going to the next check-up, I asked the doctor about the cyst and she said they had recommended doing another ultrasound later on; that is, in May.

For now, we are both doing well!