Looking ahead

Just bought tickets for our trip to the States in a little over a month. I don't think it's hit me what I've gotten myself into. In fact, I don't think I can even imagine what it will be like with 2 kids!

We ended up having to switch airlines due to seat availability, but maybe that will be a good thing. Our last experience was actually pretty unpleasant. When we touched down in Frankfurt, we needed a few extra minutes to get off the plane. We let others go by us before getting all our bags down, Sophia (5 weeks old) in the carrier, etc. It was hard even getting our shoes on with the crowds around us and taking turns holding the baby. But apparently there was very little turnaround time or something, and the stewardess (polite up to this point) came up and started barking at us to get off RIGHT THIS MINUTE. And then she proceeded to stand over us, yelling, as we tried to gather our things now that our nerves were shot. No offers to hold the baby, help with bags, etc. I was unpleasantly surprised and I guess we will try to hustle next time.

Speaking of hustling, I chose really short layovers this time. Like, 90 minutes for switching terminals. With a newborn, we needed time for nursing/burping/diapering, but this time I decided that faster is better. So we'll put Sophia in the carrier, hope David is ready for some exercise, and BOOK IT to our next flight (aka miles-long security line). Part of the reason is that last time the few extra hours for catching a breather turned into a few hours of falling out of our seats from exhaustion as we waited for our next flight. Trying to use a bag as a pillow only to have it slide to the floor. Taking a turn with the baby only to find that I couldn't stay awake enough to hold onto her.

Next up is scheduling all the doctors' appointments, side trips, and hopefully lots of fun activities for this summer's trip. No visas this time-it'll be my turn for bureaucratic stuff when we get back to Russia in the fall. 

It's getting real

It's an age of many transitions-6 months, that is (almost 7 by the time I post this).

I'd been looking forward to feeding Sophia "people" food, at the very least because she acts so offended when we eat in front of her! Literally, looks at someone taking a bite and starts sobbing. I started mixing up some purees for her, which she tastes sort of nonchalantly. However, now I think "do I HAVE to feed her?" just thinking of all the extra dishes and laundry it creates. I'm looking forward to table foods even more, when we'll just toss some of whatever we're eating on her tray.

Meanwhile, she is getting pretty mobile. She already crawls on her tummy like a pro and is much more determined about getting toys beyond her reach. The floor often seems like the safest place for her now, rather than squirming out of someone's arms. I don't think we bed-shared with David at this age-it's intense! She scratches and kicks, practicing her crawling moves. Time for a guard-rail, stat! Anyway, I think she's going to be a feisty one, so I'm bracing myself. I'm hoping David will be able to help entertain her sometimes. They are already pretty competitive. He commands us to look at him and listen when he is speaking. She hides under a blanket and waits for us to ask "Where's Sophia?"

I was looking back at my blog archives to see when David reached certain milestones, and found this fun post from exactly 4 years ago! Definitely the same things currently going on with Sophia, though she was born a month later, so she might be ahead a tad.

Some differences:

-I don't think of Sophia as fussy or clingy, as I noted with David. Maybe I'm just more relaxed about "getting stuff done"? Of course, David can help sometimes, too.

-Sophia stopped napping too, but I guess earlier on we figured out that she sleeps well in the baby buggy, especially in the winter. We put her in her snowsuit and open the porch window so she's "outside."

Rocking

The baby stopped napping recently, or I should say she started fighting sleep. Too much to see and do, I guess! Andrei has always been the bedtime person and I've never really had the knack, aka patience/stamina. I'll have to look back through my notes from David but up until now we pretty much would give a pacifier to Sophia and she would go to sleep. And then for nighttime Andrei would rock her a bit. But now for naps she waits for someone to actually put her to sleep.

A couple of times Andrei wasn't home and she just kept crying. Finally I got out the baby carrier, which I had intended to use more, but then found out it can be hard on a weak core. But I think the most damage would be from doing a lot of chores while wearing the baby. Just walking around a bit wearing the baby (I've heard up until an hour) is okay, until your core muscles get weak and you start to compensate. So I decided to get it out and have it handy for emergencies. One of those came about the other day when Andrei was out, so I put her in the carrier and paced a little bit. Then finally I remembered that Sophia likes music...as opposed to David, who doesn't really respond as well. There was even a period when I would put Mozart on and prop her up on a pillow with her pacifier, and she'd drop off.

Anyway, the song that came to me goes like this:

"Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us...that we may be called the sons of God!"

(if you know it, you're humming it now)

That song was just what was needed to calm both of us.

The next one that came to my mind was: "How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure..."

As I was singing it, I realized it isn't one of my favorites, rather melodramatic! But at that moment it fit the theme of the hour. I was thinking about how I needed the Father's love for ME, and also wanted to model it and receive it for my kids.

Later that same day, David was watching yet another cartoon on Netflix. It was actually a new one that had cropped up, involving a naughty baby chick named Chiro. David watches a lot of action movies and cartoons, yet he found THIS mild one scary! Sometimes he would press pause or hide. I observed what was making him nervous, and it turned out to be the moments when the chick's parents were about to discover his wrongdoing! Of course the screenwriters did try to build suspense, but I felt so guilty that David was scared about discipline! I hope I'm not TOO scary when I'm mad.

In the evening, I meditated on this issue of parenting and thought about how I have a lot to learn.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." -James 1:5

We Made It!

We survived the first semester with 2 kids! Andrei's done administering exams, so we've got a break now until next semester. There are definite perks to the academic schedule. If only certain conditions were a little bit more ideal!

I'm not sure what I pictured exactly, but the last few months could have been worse. We had our non-sleeper first and our good sleeper second (I type this as she is screaming hysterically and not going to sleep, but...usually she's pretty good).

One of the harder things about having more than one child is keeping them safe from each other... keeping them from waking each other up, etc. Sophia is pretty easy-going and can play with her toys by herself when she's in a good mood. So if she were an only child I could get something done, but instead I have to make sure David isn't smothering her. I might have mentioned before that I thought David might be kind of doing it to provoke us. So now that we don't repeat "be gentle" a thousand times a day, he doesn't run right over to squeeze her. He does it spontaneously but it's not like the first thing on his agenda. I have caught him rolling her over a few times, though!

Sophia's Birth Story, Part 3

Part 1

Part 2


My non-stress test was Thursday, and I would be 42 weeks on Monday. The next day (Friday), my sister was trying to make weekend plans with us, as my aunt was visiting her from the west coast. There was the possibility of meeting up at a playground or similar location on Saturday.

I didn't want to commit to anything, and the more I thought about it, the more I doubted I could handle a car ride. Wait a minute...I wasn't feeling well at all!

Other ladies in the birth forums had been feeling terrible for ages. Aching joints, contractions, etc. If I was just starting to feel poorly, it didn't necessarily mean something was happening...

At dinner, I went easy on the garlic aioli, just in case the nausea was going to start like it had with David, right at dinnertime!

I finally had to admit to my mom that I wasn't sure I would make it through the night. With David, the contractions had started at least 48 hours before. So I hated to get my hopes up, but then again, we had to be prepared.

A skunk had sprayed outside. I remembered the same thing when I was in labor the first time, heading out to the car in the middle of the night.

I couldn't even help David brush his teeth. Andrei took over and I retreated to the other room for the night. The contractions were just about 10 minutes apart, all night long. And that brings me to my birth plan...

Bureaucracy about town

I had to go to my bank here to get a statement. My friend lives near that metro, and I had letters for her, so it seemed like I could combine the errands. The only problem of course being that I couldn't leave Sophia for too long.

It was my first time traveling that far within the city since May or so. Six months! I was nervous about how I'd hold up physically. I guess I didn't go anywhere without David for a long time, but we did go as a family to church and elsewhere. In fact, as I left today, a friend from church was on his way over to fix David's old stroller for Sophia!

I felt okay physically and it was good to be out in the world...a little bit of culture shock and a little bit of post-partum shock, or whatever you call it when you're doing the same old things, but as a different person.

I met up with my friend and we headed over to a cafe to sit for a few minutes. As we walked in, the guy making crepes (blini) was a kid (now grown) that I'd known in the orphanage. I started talking to him until I realized he was working on an order. They had changed the cafe around and I felt a bit discombobulated and had trouble ordering "Earl Grey" with the right Russian pronunciation. I remember those old days trying to order McDonald's and drawing out all those words, Beeeg Mahhhhk, Kyehhhchup so that the servers would understand.

We only stayed for a little while as I was nervous about getting to the bank. My friend came with me since she had the day off. While waiting in line, I looked through my paperwork and felt so confused about the dates. My latest papers said "2015," but when was that? Last year? And I hadn't been back to this bank since last June? What had happened in the meantime? Had I skipped a year of government inspection? I had a translation of my latest bank statement, so I must have used it for going to the UK. Was that last year?

The clerk called me over and had a form for me to fill out. Incidentally, for the IRS, which meant I had to fill out all my info. in English. Doesn't sound complicated, but it's really hard for me now to write out Russian words in the Latin alphabet. It's like trying to pat your head and rub your stomach at the same time. At one point I did switch alphabets, but didn't get chastised.

After muddling through the documentation, I was told to come back the next day...ah, well. My friend and I said goodbye and I headed back to the metro.

Back home, our friend was still fixing the stroller. Then he and Andrei left together as Andrei headed out for a radio gig.

I need to mail off my documents to the immigration bureau and then my reward will be to get going with Advent.

A year of this

Still need to finish typing up Sonya (Sophia)'s birth story. It is bittersweet in a way because I didn't know until recently how injured I was. But she is a delightful baby and I think the birth experience was gentle for her, if that's a thing.

The birth story isn't scary, I promise. :)

But as for daily life, I am feeling very thankful to be allowed to be at home. I don't really have a way to even get out by myself with the kids, but I look forward to doing that as I get stronger. While I have my MIL helping (hopefully for years to come!) and David doesn't need to be in school, I am really looking at it as a time to heal. It is a very important time in terms of being more functional in the future.

This morning I convinced David to snuggle with me in bed a little longer, as Sonya can sleep until 10 or 11. A text from Andrei told me it was snowing outside. I hadn't even looked! Then a friend came over and took David out to play, and Sonya went down for a nap, so I had a quiet house for a bit. I made an orange peel and cinnamon infusion on the stovetop and it was so relaxing. We had lunch, the friend went home, and David went down for a nap without a huge struggle.

Andrei came home and we chatted for a bit before David woke up. Then thanks to David having had less screen time earlier in the day, I felt no guilt putting on Netflix while cleaning the kitchen before small group. Then Nina came over to help before friends came for Bible study. David was so excited to play with her!

It was good to see church family since it had been 5 months. I was still very symptomatic today but got to see people and have a connection with the outside world. Survived another day!

Sophia's birth story, Part 2

Part 1 

Part 3


After about 39 weeks or so, the midwives started asking if I wanted them to check me, which I didn't. I declined scheduling an induction too. One midwife told me I could "go ahead and schedule" the next few appointments. You mean there's going to be more than one? Depressing.

What was required now at every appointment was a "non-stress test" to monitor fetal activity. A good idea in theory, but not very comfortable. Sophia had thankfully gone head down, but was still flopping around due to my diastasis recti. Reclining in the chair was the worst possible position, and they couldn't get the monitor to stay in place.

A few more weeks went by and I was now more than 41 weeks. At 42 weeks it was Game Over. Funny how you can go the whole pregnancy avoiding complications, only to have the baby forcibly evicted in the end!

It turned out that this appointment was going to be my last before being induced. My dad waited for 3 (!) hours as they kept me on the monitor, then sent me down for an ultrasound, then back up to schedule the induction for first thing Monday. The midwife finally convinced me to have an internal exam, ouch. I could have sworn she was actually trying to get things going.

I wasn't crazy about the nurse OR the midwife that were on duty, and they were both scheduled to work Monday as well. It wasn't looking good for proceeding naturally. When I finally got to leave, they kept saying "see you Monday!" Gee, thanks for the vote of confidence! 4 days to get something started.

To be Continued...

Sophia's birth story, Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

While I'm facing the reality of a post-partum body and having a newborn all over again, it seems like a good time to review the miracle of Sophia's birth!

(for anyone just tuning in, we live in St. Petersburg, Russia, but I traveled both times to the U.S. to give birth...)

There were a few things about David's birth experience that we changed right away, or at least hoped to do differently. For one thing, I switched from the local Ob-Gyn in my hometown to a midwifery practice in a neighboring town. Longer commute, but a very caring community for the most part. Different birth plan, too-but I'll get to that later.

As my pregnancy progressed, I was often measuring ahead of schedule, and wondered if this baby might be early. I also had gestational diabetes, though. Once I got on a diet, my weight gain slowed down and things seemed more normal. But I still wondered if I might go early.

Once I got towards my due date, though, I had zero symptoms of labor. Same as with David! I mean, not a hint. I barely even felt pregnant. I was carrying really low though (low tone in abdominal muscles), and was told repeatedly that baby had "dropped" and that I looked "ready." Actually, I started getting those comments about 2 months before she was born.

Ferocious Four and 2 Months

The 4 yr old is a challenge right now! I wonder if he is just now reacting to having a sibling. I keep having unrealistic expectations. In my head, if I give him undivided attention for a few hours, he will let me take a break. Or if I let him kiss his sister once, he'll be satisfied and leave her alone and not continue to harass her. What DOES sometimes happen is that if I bite my tongue, he will stop the offending behavior since there is no reaction. But obviously I can't let him harm himself or others. I couldn't ignore the toy-throwing or opening the oven door repeatedly.

There are moments when he seems repentant and it seems like we've figured something out. Like when we argued and argued about naptime and then Andrei came home and intervened, but then David still asked for me and we lay down with our arms around each other and went to sleep. He still wants to please me even if it seems like he wants to hurt me.

David's "I'm sorry" phase seems to be over...when he used to come to us of his own accord and ask for forgiveness. Even when we had already forgotten. But he IS in an "I love you" phase, and that warms my heart. He can be a little resistant toward spiritual discipline, but prays spontaneously sometimes; yesterday's prayer was that I would have 100 babies, that would all come safely.

The new typical Tuesday (AKA taking turns napping)

Andrei had one of his heavier teaching days today and also had to get up earlier. As he was about to leave, David woke up, and I had just spent the past 90 minutes or so settling Sophia, in anticipation of more sleep. Andrei set up David with a movie and set off for work. David loves TV time as much as any kid his age, but doesn't necessarily like it as a solo activity. For now he found an imaginary playmate and made some commentary periodically. But I can't say I got more sleep. A "survive until naptime" kind of day!

The next goal was to eat breakfast and look presentable before Babushka Nina (Andrei's mom) arrived. 2 hours goes by faster than you'd think! As I made myself some breakfast, I kept stopping to give David various menu items to keep him placated. So I only ate part 1 of my breakfast and then took David with me around to different rooms making beds and putting together an outfit. Of course every once in a while I would feed, burp or change Sophia, or put her back to sleep. She can still sleep a lot, though seems to be sensitive to noise.

David kept suggesting games which we didn't have time for, particularly something called "making a robot" which sounded pretty involved. We did finally read some books while I was nursing Sophia. A current favorite is a book about the Human Body, and skeletons were a big theme this summer.

Despite all that running around I only got half (of two) beds made, and was nursing Sophia when Nina arrived, so couldn't open the door for her. I had planned to quickly (haha) get everyone out the door for some fresh air before it got close to lunch/nap(cranky) time. However, David did NOT want to go outside. He wanted to see what Nina had in her purse for him, and there was a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur to play with. Then I changed the plan and decided it was too close to naptime to attempt a trip to the playground. "I want to go OUTSIDE" said David.

Sophia had just eaten, so took a nap while we had a little lunch (plus the other half of my breakfast) and tea with banana muffins. Then she was waking up and it was time to put David down for a nap. The way for me to get sleep to would be to lie down with David while Nina took care of the baby, since Sophia isn't always a quiet sleeper. However, I had to wait for Sophia to wake up first, so I had Nina start the process of putting David down for a nap.

After Sophia was all fed, I checked on David and he wasn't nearly asleep. He was very upset when I switched off with Nina even though I promised she would be there when he woke up. I just couldn't wait any longer to take a nap. Despite the neighbors hammering above us, he managed to fall asleep after about an hour, while I lay there wondering when the baby would be hungry again! I woke up at every creak and thump, but must have slept since I had some very interesting dreams.

When David and I woke up, we heard Andrei's voice! I had expected him a few hours later but it turns out his evening class was actually in the morning now and he'd told me already (no memory of that). So we had a nice surprise with him home earlier.

We were all settled in the kitchen having tea and snacks and I looked wistfully at the late afternoon sun and said we should probably just stay inside since everyone was content. "I want to go OUTSIDE!" said David. Andrei went to lie down and and Nina and I worked quickly to get David into some clothes before he changed his mind (coat/sweater/shirt/gloves layered just the right way). "I want to stay INSIDE!" said David. And sneezed 5 times in a row on both of us. But I quickly ushered them out the door and sat down at my computer!

Next time maybe I will leave everyone else at home and go outside for my own walk.