In the midst of conflict, there is often a temptation to run to someone who will take our side. And why not? There's nothing inherently wrong with the desire to be understood. This is the way we have been created.
The problem is that we don't always represent the whole story. Maybe we don't consciously think about escaping blame, but in crafting our story, we leave out certain bits of information and neglect others. We pick up the phone or sit down at the computer to "pour our heart out" to someone who doesn't really know the whole situation.
This is a bad idea on two counts: 1) Sharing about a situation can quickly turn to gossip. 2) We are not confronting the source of the problem. continue/-