5 years later

 After my latest weird dream sequence, I found my mind wandering to an alternate scenario where our church never split up.

I did the math and realized that it has been about 5 years since it all started. At the time, Sophia was a baby and I wasn't able to be involved much in the discussions that followed. It was painful to feel cut off at such a crucial time! 

If you read my blog a long time ago, you probably remember that Andrei and I both were involved a lot in our church even before we were married and had kids. And the church played a big role in our courtship and wedding.

I look at the kids now and imagine that in our old church, they would have both been attending Sunday school by now, and I would have probably been involved with music again or been attending a small group.

If we had all stayed in the same church, I had imagined the kids growing up with "church friends," who would possibly become friends for life. The year I had David, 4 other families were expecting babies. They were girls, but still could have been playmates for him.

-One family emigrated to Germany on a heritage visa, after their second child was tragically born at 24 weeks and passed away in the NICU here.

-One family emigrated to Canada, after years stuck in a cycle of poverty here.

-One family went back to the church the wife had attended before they married.

-And the other family started attending a more modern church with an impressive children's program, as that was something important to them.

If the church split had happened 3 years later, the pandemic would have been starting, and church would have been online. The arguments about music and lighting and coffee hour wouldn't have happened. But...maybe we would have argued about masks and whether or not to meet in person. In fact, I'm pretty sure the large group who broke away did in fact keep meeting, and gave each other Covid.

If the church split happened now, 5 years later, the kids would be old enough to entertain themselves as we attended the discussion sessions. I'd probably get too emotionally involved...even more than I was when it actually happened. 

Sadly, the church split probably would have happened over Ukraine if it hadn't happened already by then. I think that there was already some disagreement over the Crimea, not enough to really cause great offense, but I think that it would be hard to worship together while sharing different views on what is happening today.

It's probably good that people went their separate ways, but I always wonder if there's a way to address disagreements in a timely manner so as to prevent church splits. Or is it inevitable that churches eventually have a big conflict? Or should churches do some "pruning" periodically? Or just plan to split into smaller groups once they get to a certain size? For example, outgrow the space? Instead of looking for a new building, just split up?

Do you ever think about how life would be different if something happened in a different year?

Border Trips in the time of Covid, Part 3 (Armenia)

 I noticed that I often neglect to write about our interesting travels. A certain amount of time passes and then the initial impressions are lost. Sometimes it's just a matter of getting the photos off whichever device...

It's been 6 months and everything has changed again. This started out as a commentary on travel with coronavirus restrictions, and now there are many other restrictions. If Covid math for the past 2 years has involved PCR test processing and validity along with quarantine length, we now have to worry about closed airspace and places where we aren't welcome as a family.

But, back to November 2021 when it was still Covid but pre-conflict. 

...after our night in the hotel in Yerevan, we woke up for a day of tourism before heading to the airport. We enjoyed a full hotel breakfast buffet in the style that I've grown to love. None of that toast and jam here...try some hot porridge of your preferred type, make your own sandwich with a variety of cold cuts, or fix a plate of steamed hot dogs (David's favorite) with your choice of pasta dish or potato casserole. And then come back for more! I will admit that I like Scandinavian breakfasts a tiny bit more because there is usually some yummy smoked or salted fish. But any filling, savory breakfast is fine with me.

After breakfast, we had an hour to "get organized," which for me is always a pretty important/focused chore. I had also planned to map out our itinerary, figure out airport transportation, etc.

Then Andrei was looking at his phone and his bank had been reporting dozens of charges, leaving his balance almost at zero. Neither of us likes to handle these issues, but I also had to focus on packing everything up, so it really wasn't good timing. 

I mentioned in the last post that we were having trouble keeping track of the exchange rate, and as we rushed to make calculations, the numbers seemed way too high for having withdrawn a little cash and eaten dinner. Armenia is fairly cheap, in general. So that didn't make sense. Meanwhile, we got a call from the front desk reminding us of the checkout time, which was fair, but didn't help the overall mood.

Our time was up, so we headed down to check out and get directions into the downtown area. Did I mention Yerevan is rather hilly and the streets are sort of on top of each other? We went the way we were told, down a hill by an abandoned amusement park that we hadn't seen in the dark the previous evening. Then we were supposed to get to town via a pedestrian tunnel. That tunnel....I'm glad we weren't walking through it at night, because we couldn't get out of there fast enough! At first, the end wasn't even in sight. Lots of graffiti, trash, etc. We emerged to see a cluster of dilapidated Soviet buildings. A few steps further and we were at a lovely park with fountains that would have been turned on if it weren't November. But some adorable fuzzy green sculptures made up for that. It reminded me of seeing cow sculptures in Budapest. It was really warm, by the way, probably in the 50s. 

Children

Types of energy come in waves. I feel drained of physical energy this week, but more in tune with my emotions. And there are a lot of things to process this particular week. 

On to the topic...we are still homeschooling these days, of course. I actually share some visuals on Instagram (the handle is ourhomeschoollife_overseas), but it's not a "blog." Homeschooling offers some flexibility in the midst of a pandemic, family sickness, changing work schedules, international travel needs, and attempts at a social life. 

When a local friend recently mentioned keeping his kids home from school to skip a lecture on the current political situation, I thought...it's a good thing we homeschool. Our kids don't have to wade through all that conflicting information. Not yet, anyway. But they will still encounter it in the world. And although I thought we had time, I suddenly realized that their potential PLAYMATES are all getting an earful at their own schools. They ARE the world. We can hear them all playing on the playground right outside our window. They might wake up in the morning and get a glimpse of whatever news source their parents choose. Then they go to school and compare notes with their classmates and maybe hear a little from their teachers. And then they are outside our window, each one carrying the weight of all that information.

No, I haven't heard anything, per se. It's just where my imagination went last night as I was preparing to sleep. Perhaps the kids are just playing innocent playground games and not thinking about war. Not playing at refugees like my daughter did with her dolls one evening. 

My friend and his wife are quietly selling all their possessions so that they and their children can start a new life elsewhere. The future is now. The next generation is here. Kids are soaking it all in. In other countries, people will move on. They will vote on their next president based on a perceived notion of their own sense of freedom and security. But for a certain few countries, the effects are long-lasting, for the next generation and beyond. Freedom and security are a far-off dream.

Forgiveness

 Let the blogging continue.

Easter Sunday in the two church calendar traditions has just a 1 week difference this year. Ash Wednesday happened during Pancake Week in Russia.

Yesterday was "Forgiveness Sunday" in the Orthodox Church, marking the final day before the Lenten Fast. You can look it up, but it's meant to be a day of repentance and asking other people for forgiveness. Sometimes I might get a text from an Orthodox friend saying "I'm sorry, please forgive me if I've wronged you." In the age of social media, people make general posts saying they're sorry if they've offended anyone.

I like the idea of making relationships right. I don't like ignoring the elephant in the room. I mean, there are generic apologies and there are specific wrongs that no one acknowledges. I did see some of my local friends lamenting publicly. But we are not really allowed to comment at this point, so, I just pray that those who are repentant for their part will follow their convictions to act accordingly, and receive the gift of forgiveness.

I have a mom friend in the neighborhood. Lena is her name. We bump into each other once a month or so and actually talk to each other! I can't take credit for the friendliness though, because I noticed that she knows everyone and asks how each person is doing. 

But anyway...Lena is a bit older than me and has a new baby! I was excited to spot them recently with a baby buggy instead of burgeoning belly. She even let us take a peek, which is a no-no sometimes in Russian culture due to superstition. No showing the baby's face initially.

Lena told me about her disappointment visiting church a few days before. She paid the offering amount to get a few candles and light them, with the understanding that her prayer requests would be voiced. But someone extinguished her candles after just a few minutes. Then she was trying to pray and meditate and another member of the church staff approached and invited her to give another offering. And she said she just never got that peace of feeling that her prayers were actually heard.

Trying not to sound prideful, I said that at our church, needs are prayed for right away, out loud. So we do get that feeling of our burdens being shared and lifted up to God. We also have quiet time for repentance at each service. So while I mentioned Forgiveness Sunday, it's something that we incorporate each week. 

In Russia, it's against the law to proselytize. But I can at least share my own faith journey. As we said goodbye, Lena asked me my name. We parted knowing each other's names, for the first time.