Advocacy à la D.Bonhoeffer

"Only he who cries out for the Jews may sing Gregorian chants." -Dietrich Bonhoeffer

For a while now I've been slowly reading through the Eric Metaxas biography* of Dietrich Bonhoeffer. I recently saw someone mention having devoured it very quickly, which I suppose I might have done if it were a work of fiction. But there is much food for thought here.

I began to wonder if his kind of advocacy has a present-day equivalent. That is, I wonder if his approach would be applicable today.

As far as he was concerned, to dare to sing to God when his chosen people were being beaten and murdered meant that one must also speak out against their suffering. If one was unwilling to do this, God was not interested in one's worship. (Metaxas, pp.280-281)

I guess I have two questions here. The first is whom we would name as the "chosen people" today. Would we still point to the Jews, or could the Persecuted Church or even the orphans fall into this category?

My second question regards our involvement. Does God really not want us to worship if we're not involved in advocacy? Is advocacy an all-or-nothing principle, or is it something I can practice on occasion?

In other words, if one of God's precious ones is suffering, do I have the right to keep on living my daily life? Bonhoeffer was right in the middle of all that was going on, but maybe he could have avoided that. Should I intentionally throw myself into these kinds of controversies, or at the least, avoid running away from them? Or is this activism reserved for someone with a specific calling?

And who should be my audience? The Church? Society? The U.S. Government? The Russian Government?

Those are my thoughts about one little quote, so you can see how it's taking me a while to get through 500+ pages. :)

*Metaxas, Eric (2010-04-20).  Bonhoeffer: Pastor, Martyr, Prophet, Spy. Thomas Nelson. Kindle Edition.

Lessons, Part 5

On forming attachment..

I’m much more of a “softie” than I pictured. I sort of expected that we’d teach David to be independent early on…help him “self-soothe,” fall asleep on his own, play on his blanket quietly, etc. Not that we wouldn’t spend time together, but he would learn about entertaining himself, as well.

Nah.

I don’t know when that “more independent” stage comes, but 6 months is not it. This period could be known as the "siamese twins" phase (if siamese twins could be born 30 years apart). Lately he has wanted to play on his blanket only WHILE physically attached to me…in my lap, etc. This isn’t even “parallel play” where I can sneak a look at my phone or computer while he’s playing at my feet. If I break out my Kindle, he lunges for it. Toys can be fun, but let’s check in every 3 minutes, okay, Mom?

I find his outbursts much more upsetting than when he was a newborn. That period was tiring physically and just kind of disorienting. But a newborn’s cries are fairly pathetic…even amusing, because his needs are so simple. He doesn’t even know why he’s crying. He doesn’t know that if he waits 30 seconds he’ll be able to eat or have a clean diaper or whatever and then he’ll be just fine.

But now we have a relationship.  If I try to sneak out of the room for a minute, sometimes he looks up from his toy at the wrong time and our eyes meet. We both know what’s happening, and as he realizes it, he bursts into tears. She’s LEAVING me. He doesn’t only cry over basic needs now…there are social ones now, too.

And so…I have not been very productive lately. And that’s fine, because I had a baby knowing that I would be his mother and that he would need me, so here I am!

Another thing that makes me sad, though, is thinking about the kids who really are being left. It didn’t scar me, but I remember being left with babysitters as a child. Yeah, I didn’t like it, but it wasn’t permanent. However, it is very hard for me to think of a child just like my child, but without a mother. With the same wounded look as David when I leave the room, but no one is there to comfort him. My heart breaks for the orphans.

Projecting Sermons

Do you ever sit there listening to a sermon and think, “I wish so-and-so were here to hear this”? (Come on, I can’t be the only one!)

During the sermon on Sunday I was looking at a handful of young people sitting in front of me and thinking of how I could reach out to them. The young man had visited our Bible study and asked a lot of questions. Then during the sermon I saw his face lighting up with interest as he listened. That had to be a good sign! The pastor even quoted the passage (from Revelation) that we had studied the previous week. Could God use this as confirmation?

Then I had to laugh, because the main passage was about the Pharisee and the tax collector (Luke 18); how the Pharisee stood there praying and “thanking” God for being righteous and not at all like those poor sinners. And here I was staring at someone else, waiting for HIM to realize he was a sinner. Surely the sermon is for the visitors, and not for the expert Christians, right? ;)

To be honest, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to recognize someone else is a sinner (well, separated from God) and to pray for God to touch him. But I felt a little embarrassed that instead of testing my own heart, I was looking around to see who might receive this message. The question is, am I a Pharisee? Am I proud? Am I sincerely setting a good example for others, or just playing a role?

Introverts and favorites

It’s been awhile since I've thought about being an introvert. Maybe I’ve overcome some of the issues, or maybe I just haven’t had to face them lately! There were two books I wanted to review a few years ago, and never got around to it.


The first one was called “The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths," by Marti Olsen Laney. I like it because it explains the difference between introverts and extroverts in a more factual way. And it helps me understand why I possess certain oddities.

What's your favorite _____________?

Recently, we had a reflection time at Bible study and were asked to name some favorite parts of 2012, as it came to a close. While it seemed like a good idea, I had a pretty hard time answering. In fact, I have a hard time naming my favorite anything! Of course I don’t forget factual information like my date of birth, but when it comes to how I feel about something, I have a hard time retrieving the information. I have to make up things like my favorite book or favorite color.

So it was a relief to read that our memories actually DO work differently. Without including the long-winded information about brain signals, here is the gist of it:

"...we introverts think nothing relevant is in our head because we haven’t triggered the association to our long-term memory. Our mind seems blank. This is why introverts can even forget what we like to do or what we are good at." (p.81)*

Losing our train of thought...

It may sound like a lame excuse, but here's a reason that we can't find the right words sometimes:

Often introverts have trouble finding the word they want when they are speaking out loud. Our brains use many different areas for speaking, reading, and writing; therefore, information needs to flow freely between the separate areas. Word retrieval may be a problem for introverts because the information moves slowly. One cause of this is that we use long-term memory, so it takes longer and requires the right association (something that reminds us of the word) to reach back into our long-term memory to locate the exact word we want. If we are anxious, it may be even more difficult to find and articulate a word. Written words use different pathways in the brain, which seems to flow fluently for many introverts. (pp.69-70)

Socially "awkward"

Meanwhile, here are some behavior "oddities" that I'm definitely guilty of:

An introvert may:

-Reduce eye contact when speaking to focus on collecting words and thoughts; increase eye contact when listening to take in information • Surprise others with their wealth of information • Shy away from too much attention or focus • Appear glazed, dazed, or zoned out when stressed, tired, or in groups...

The dominance of the l-o-n-g acetylcholine pathway means that introverts :

• May start talking in the middle of a thought, which can confuse others • Have a good memory but take a long time to retrieve memories • Can forget things they know very well—might stumble around when explaining their job or temporarily forget a word they want to use • May think they told you something when they just have thought it • Are clearer about ideas, thoughts, and feelings after sleeping on them • May not be aware of their thoughts unless they write or talk about them ( pp. 84-85)

When it's hard to retrieve those thoughts, I have trouble doing things like praying out loud, explaining to someone what I do, telling someone about my day...

But introverts CAN be public speakers. It isn't a fear of people, it's a fear of the words not making their way onto one's tongue. It IS possible to memorize speeches and come across quite eloquently. It IS possible to memorize the appropriate answers to common questions, for both formal and informal settings, and use personalized memory triggers to access those answers.

When I studied foreign languages, I would sometimes give false answers to questions about myself. For example, I would usually say I had "one brother and one sister" (it's actually more than that) because it used the easiest noun endings. For college interviews, I had to do a little acting. What were my goals in life? How did I feel about the upcoming transition to college life? I said the first things that came to my mind. In situations like these it isn't the most true-to-life information, but it works for passing the test.

But what if you want to have a REAL conversation? Introverts may need time to reflect. Or, if you check your email a few hours after a conversation with an introvert, you may find some very thoughtful answers, which have finally made themselves known. :)

* All quotations are from: Laney Psy.D., Marti Olsen (2002-02-01). The Introvert Advantage: Making the Most of Your Inner Strengths (p. 69). Workman Publishing - A. Kindle Edition.