Sunday, February 15, 2009

Off topic

Now that Valentine’s Day is safely past, I have to get this off my chest.

I have noticed that in romantic films, at the moment when the guy and girl meet for the first time, one of them is: 1) Engaged to someone else, 2) Happily dating and/or dating around, or 3) “Married” to one’s job.

The plot consists of one or both individuals simultaneously dumping their "awful" former pursuits while falling in love with the new person. As if life before that moment was pointless.

Often, this first love is planted there to make the storyline more interesting. I think it is put there to form a “damsel in distress” scenario, so that Mr. Right can swoop in to the rescue. Appealing? In a worldly way, yes.

However, I sometimes feel sorry for that first love who was planted there. Screenwriters make sure to call attention to a few flaws, that are almost not flaws at all. For example, he's too boring and has his life all planned out. Or, she's too needy and wants to be with him all the time. Or, it was the parents' pick and not one's own.

I would almost rather choose the steady, reliable option than the new, exciting one. Or work out conflicts rather than running away with someone I barely knew.

That moment when he/she chooses the "right" one spoils the movie for me. The day (or an hour) before, she was in the arms of someone else, and he doesn’t seem to care one bit since they're SO in love. Is that realistic? I think it would make me a little uncomfortable, in either role.

I am not saying it’s a sin to have dated a few people. I just wonder why the 4th option is never mentioned: single and happy. Is it so impossible to find a single person who has no ties at all, but is simply…waiting?


  1. Ha ha. Yes, in film, it is impossible. To the world, we are an odd bunch and don't believe that we can we happy being single and waiting!

  2. Heh wow this was a witty perception :) I agree!

  3. I really hope God takes my feelings away toward this man...I'm so tired of thinking about him. Sometimes it's voluntary, others, not at all.. :/ But God is good no matter what..:)

  4. It's not about being's about the thought life...something a little harder to control than stopping by someone's apartment for a "How'dy do?" You know? :/ it's my unfinished work.

  5. My current help in my thought life in general is to start singing when the thoughts of anything impure, unkind come my way...PatientlyWaiting might give it a try...This is a quote from a favorite book of mine...Hinds Feet on High Places: "Much Afraid, you had better become a singer; then you won’t hear what they (Resentment and others she came into contact with) say to you. "
    I say it's very possible to be single and's very ok...I agree with you Elizabeth about the movies having a sad approach to relationship switches.

  6. That's a very good tip, Karen! I had forgotten about that. I think of songs at night sometimes if I have too much in my head. Songs are easier to recall than Scripture...

  7. It would be interesting to see how it feels to be single if you are away from movies, fiction, gossip, retailers and all the sources that tell us we are supposed to be anything but single. It's possible to find someone who is single and waiting, but it might be a tall order to find someone who is actually happy to be single but also ready to be in a relationship

  8. Anonymous, I think that the desire to be married comes from God and not from television. However, in Song of Solomon 2:7 it says, "Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires." I think that the sources that you mentioned above contribute to impatience and unrealistic expectations. But if a person is waiting on the Lord, this helps him/her to focus expectations and to be ready at just the right time.

  9. Of course I Corinthians 13 comes to mind. If only we all (men/women alike) could love like that. Just think about it. You choose the object of your love and you love him/her to the point you can lay down your life for that person. Nothing can sway your determination... Can you imagine that kind of determination and tenacity in loving someone?

    Sin and selfishness are the cause why men and women can't love each other with the same love God loves us.

    But then again... David had a harem... and God said it was a blessing from Him. Go figure!!!


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