Rocking

The baby stopped napping recently, or I should say she started fighting sleep. Too much to see and do, I guess! Andrei has always been the bedtime person and I've never really had the knack, aka patience/stamina. I'll have to look back through my notes from David but up until now we pretty much would give a pacifier to Sophia and she would go to sleep. And then for nighttime Andrei would rock her a bit. But now for naps she waits for someone to actually put her to sleep.

A couple of times Andrei wasn't home and she just kept crying. Finally I got out the baby carrier, which I had intended to use more, but then found out it can be hard on a weak core. But I think the most damage would be from doing a lot of chores while wearing the baby. Just walking around a bit wearing the baby (I've heard up until an hour) is okay, until your core muscles get weak and you start to compensate. So I decided to get it out and have it handy for emergencies. One of those came about the other day when Andrei was out, so I put her in the carrier and paced a little bit. Then finally I remembered that Sophia likes music...as opposed to David, who doesn't really respond as well. There was even a period when I would put Mozart on and prop her up on a pillow with her pacifier, and she'd drop off.

Anyway, the song that came to me goes like this:

"Behold what manner of love the Father has given unto us...that we may be called the sons of God!"

(if you know it, you're humming it now)

That song was just what was needed to calm both of us.

The next one that came to my mind was: "How deep the Father's love for us, how vast beyond all measure..."

As I was singing it, I realized it isn't one of my favorites, rather melodramatic! But at that moment it fit the theme of the hour. I was thinking about how I needed the Father's love for ME, and also wanted to model it and receive it for my kids.

Later that same day, David was watching yet another cartoon on Netflix. It was actually a new one that had cropped up, involving a naughty baby chick named Chiro. David watches a lot of action movies and cartoons, yet he found THIS mild one scary! Sometimes he would press pause or hide. I observed what was making him nervous, and it turned out to be the moments when the chick's parents were about to discover his wrongdoing! Of course the screenwriters did try to build suspense, but I felt so guilty that David was scared about discipline! I hope I'm not TOO scary when I'm mad.

In the evening, I meditated on this issue of parenting and thought about how I have a lot to learn.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you." -James 1:5

Songs in English, and saying Goodbye

Last month, I decided to start learning hymns again. Unfortunately, this resolution often goes the same way of "I think I'll read start reading through the whole Bible again." Short-lived. (However, just typing this up makes me want me to do both. Accountability!)

This recent hymn endeavor was partly inspired by wanting to sing to the baby. I realized that most of the worship songs in my current repertoire are in Russian, so I thought it would be good to go back to my "roots" and relearn some songs in English so that David could hear some worship songs in his mother's first language. (The irony is that the English in hymns is almost like a separate dialect! But still, good to know)

Well, I've only memorized 2 hymns so far in 2013, and started another.

But the very first one I picked became quite significant.

When I realized that I needed 40-something hymns, I decided to poll my friends for ideas. And they responded, with old classics I was familiar with as well as ones I needed to look up.

The first person to respond had been 2 years behind me in my high school youth group. When he suggested "Be Thou My Vision," I was taken back to the youth group years, to those retreats when we used to sing our hearts out, and maybe even buy the worship band's cassette (!) and return home and keep singing those songs. And on a Sunday night meeting we might sing them, too. And then a few (or 10) years later, some of us would get married and maybe use those songs in our weddings, or teach them to our own kids...

So I decided that it would be a good song to start with. And I sang all the verses to David for several days in a row, as I rocked him to sleep.

One morning just recently, I woke up to hear that the very friend who had suggested "Be Thou My Vision" had suddenly become very ill. He had a cold...a cough...he spiked a fever...and then it turned into a very bad case of pneumonia. I scrolled down his page, wondering if there had been any warning signs, any complaints about having the sniffles. Nope. Just the usual groan-worthy jokes and professions of love toward bacon. Plus an amazing photo of him with his beloved residents at a home for the elderly.

Less than a week later, he was gone. My heart mourns for a childhood friend. A young woman from our youth group also passed away a year or two ago due to illness, and I will always remember both of these friends as they were in their youth. Full of light and love, seeking to serve the Lord.

And that was my first hymn of 2013. A memory and a farewell.

O blagodat' (I'm the one with the flute)

Yep, this is our Christmas performance: "Amazing Grace" in Russian, a la Celtic Women.

It doesn't really sound like the Celtic Women version, but it was a fun project trying to learn and memorize all 3 parts.

Also, I got choked up near the end thinking about the words, so my voice sounds a little shaky.

Sweet Harmony

I was looking for some hymns online and came across this family of singers. I was so inspired by their crisp harmony, so worshipful. I almost wanted to dance!

Listen to "How Beautiful":

Hymn #12

It's hymn time! I haven't posted one for awhile.

We sang this one at a meeting recently, and I really like the words. They hit on some key truths and key heart issues.

This observation from Verse 2 is especially striking:

And from my smitten heart with tears Two wonders I confess:

The wonders of redeeming love And my unworthiness.

I had this vision of a person kneeling, turning up a tear-streaked face towards Heaven, and confessing these two realizations.

Complete lyrics:/-

Beneath the Cross of Jesus

Verse 1
Beneath the cross of Jesus I fain would take my stand,
The shadow of a mighty Rock Within a weary land.
A home within the wilderness, A rest upon the way,
From the burning of the noontide heat And the burden of the day.

Verse 2
Upon the cross of Jesus Mine eyes at times can see
The very dying form of One Who suffered there for me;
And from my smitten heart with tears Two wonders I confess:
The wonders of redeeming love And my unworthiness.

Verse 3
I take, O cross, thy shadow For my abiding place,
I ask no other sunshine Than the sunshine of His face.
Content to let the world go by, To know no gain nor loss,
My sinful self, my only shame, My glory all the cross.

Verse 4
O safe and happy shelter, O refuge tried and sweet,
O trysting place where heaven's love And heaven's justice meet!
As to the holy patriarch That wondrous dream was giv'n,
So seems my Savior's cross to me, A ladder up to heav'n.

-Elizabeth Clephane/Frederick Maker

To God be the Glory

I can't think of anything to write about besides paperwork and bureaucracy. Rather sad.

In the meantime, here is some uplifting music. I discovered the Oslo Gospel Choir on Youtube, and I love their singing! In this particular video there is a special soloist.

Mystery hymn

It's hymn time! However, this time there are a few missing pieces.

Our sermon yesterday centered on grace, within the framework of Titus 3.

"But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy."-Titus 3:4,5b

To illustrate this concept, we heard the words of "a hymn."

Law and terrors do but harden,
all the while they work alone;
But a sense of blood-bought pardon
Soon dissolves a heart of stone

I can almost visualize that hardness melting away as the reality of God's forgiveness strikes us.

The source of the hymn, however, is unknown to me. The most common place it seems to be quoted is in Charles Spurgeon's sermons. I've seen it credited to Hart, and also to Toplady, who wrote "Rock of Ages."

But I haven't found the entire hymn, nor the melody associated with the portion above.

Hymn #11

In the apartment where I’m currently staying, there is an old upright piano. I've missed my piano! Sometimes I sit down and play for an hour or two. The girl who lives here has a Russian language hymnal, and I discovered that many of the songs that are translated include the original title and text. So I have been rediscovering some old favorites. I had to laugh though because they had translated “America the Beautiful” into Russian.

I found one hymn that I don’t actually remember singing much in childhood, but for some reason it sticks with me. I remember hearing it on tv while watching President Reagan’s funeral. But I don’t really associate it with death; even if it is a glimpse of future glory, I associate it with Jesus daily calling us to Himself.

Softly and Tenderly Jesus is Calling by Will L. Thompson

1) Softly and tenderly Jesus is calling,
Calling for you and for me;
See, on the portals He’s waiting and watching,
Watching for you and for me.

Come home, come home,
You who are weary, come home;
Earnestly, tenderly, Jesus is calling,
Calling, O sinner, come home!

2) Why should we tarry when Jesus is pleading,
Pleading for you and for me?
Why should we linger and heed not His mercies,
Mercies for you and for me?

3) Time is now fleeting, the moments are passing,
Passing from you and from me;
Shadows are gathering, deathbeds are coming,
Coming for you and for me.

4) O for the wonderful love He has promised,
Promised for you and for me!
Though we have sinned, He has mercy and pardon,
Pardon for you and for me.

Hymn #9, 10

While I'm on the topic of my older brother's wedding, I'll include a few songs that were played at the church ceremony.

The bridal procession walked to "Mercy said no" by Cece Winans. There's a clip below that I found on YouTube. I hadn't heard this song before, but I guess it's an older song that was redone recently by Cece Winans.

I thought "Mercy said no" was an unusual choice for a wedding. I first heard it at the rehearsal, and several of us were moved to tears. It was strange hearing "I'm not going to let you go" as the bride walked with her father! However, it's a beautiful description of a person's walk with the Lord. He will not let us go; He will hold onto us until the very end, when we become His bride!

I was just a child, when I felt the Savior leading
I was drawn to what I could not understand
And for the cause of Christ, I have spent my days believing
That what He'd have me be, is who I am
As I've come to see the weaker side of me
I realize His grace is what I'll need
When sin demanded justice for my soul

Mercy said no
I'm not going to let you go
I'm not going to let you slip away
You don't have to be afraid
Mercy said no
Sin will never take control
Life and death stood face to face
Darkness tried to steal my heart away
Thank You Jesus, Mercy said no

For God so loved the world, that He sent His son to save us
From the cross He built a bridge to set us free
Oh, but deep within our hearts, there is still a war that rages
And makes a sacrifice so hard to see
As midnight fell upon the crucifixion day
The light of hope seemed oh so far away
As evil tried to stop redemption's flow

And now when heaven looks at me
It's through the blood of Jesus
Reminding me of one day long ago

Mercy said no...







After everyone had entered, we began to sing "I Surrender All" in French, English, and Lingala. This too was a poignant choice of a song, which gave the sense of giving all to God, not just dedicating this one event. It was one moment in the service when all three languages were utilized, and each person in the room was able to understand and think about the meaning of the words.

In English:

All to Jesus, I surrender;
All to Him I freely give;
I will ever love and trust Him,
In His presence daily live.

Refrain
I surrender all,
I surrender all,
All to Thee, my blessèd Savior,
I surrender all.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Humbly at His feet I bow,
Worldly pleasures all forsaken;
Take me, Jesus, take me now.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Make me, Savior, wholly Thine;
Let me feel the Holy Spirit,
Truly know that Thou art mine.

All to Jesus, I surrender;
Lord, I give myself to Thee;
Fill me with Thy love and power;
Let Thy blessing fall on me.

All to Jesus I surrender;
Now I feel the sacred flame.
O the joy of full salvation!
Glory, glory, to His Name!


Here's an interesting note about the lyrics from the author, Jud­son W. Van De­Vent­er, in 1896:

"The song was writ­ten while I was con­duct­ing a meet­ing at East Pal­es­tine, Ohio, in the home of George Seb­ring (found­er of the Seb­ring Camp­meet­ing Bi­ble Con­fer­ence in Seb­ring, Ohio, and lat­er de­vel­op­er of the town of Seb­ring, Flor­i­da). For some time, I had strug­gled be­tween de­vel­op­ing my tal­ents in the field of art and go­ing into full-time evan­gel­is­tic work. At last the pi­vot­al hour of my life came, and I sur­ren­dered all. A new day was ushered in­to my life. I became an evang­el­ist and dis­cov­ered down deep in my soul a tal­ent hi­ther­to un­known to me. God had hid­den a song in my heart, and touch­ing a ten­der chord, He caused me to sing." (source: cyberhymnal.org)

Hymn #6

Here I am, Lord


I, the Lord of sea and sky,

I have heard my people cry.

All who dwell in dark and sin,

My hand will save.


Chorus

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.


I, who made the stars of night,

I will make their darkness bright.

Who will bear my light to them?

Whom shall I send?


Chorus

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.


I, the Lord of snow and rain,

I have borne my people’s pain.

I have wept for love of them.

They turn away.


Chorus

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.


I will break their hearts of stone,

Give them hearts for love alone.

I will speak my words to them.

Whom shall I send?


Chorus

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.


I, the Lord of wind and flame,

I will send the poor and lame.

I will set a feast for them.

My hand will save.


Chorus

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.


Finest bread I will provide,

'Til their hearts be satisfied.

I will give my life to them.

Whom shall I send?



Chorus

Here I am, Lord. Is it I, Lord?

I have heard you calling in the night.

I will go, Lord, if you lead me.

I will hold your people in my heart.


To listen to the melody, go here.

Words and Music by Daniel L Schutte© 1981
Genesis 46:2"And God spake unto Israel in the visions of the night,and said, Jacob, Jacob. And he said, Here am I."


I had this hymn written in my prayer journal from sophomore year of college after a missions-oriented Intervarsity meeting. I like the words and call-and-response style of the song. But when I was meditating on it, I also had the conviction that when serving in another country, it's easy to place oneself in the role of Saviour. It's important to note that in the song (and in life), the Lord is the one who saves, sends, makes, breaks, provides, heals. We are the ones who respond and go, but all we can really do is open our hearts and wait for Him to move through us.

Hymn #5: One for the bad days

Wow, it's been a while. I'm going to get back into blogging with a hymn called "My God, My Father, Though I Stray" by Charlotte Elliot. It's a bit heavy, but it seems to me that it's good to have hymns for when life is tough. Recently, singing hymns (silently) helped me get through a trip to the dentist. It was either that or hyperventilate.




My God and Father! while I stray
Far from my home in life’s rough way,
Oh! teach me from my heart to say,
“Thy will be done!”

Though dark my path, and sad my lot,
Let me “be still,” and murmur not,
Or breathe the prayer divinely taught,
“Thy will be done!”

What though in lonely grief I sigh,
For friends beloved, no longer nigh,
Submissive still would I reply,
“Thy will be done!”

If Thou shouldst call me to resign
What most I prize, it ne’er was mine;
I only yield Thee what was Thine;
“Thy will be done!”

Should pining sickness waste away,
My life in premature decay,
My Father! still I strive to say,
“Thy will be done!”

If but my fainting heart be blest
With Thy sweet Spirit for its guest,
My God! to Thee I leave the rest--
“Thy will be done!”

Renew my will from day to day,
Blend it with Thine, and take away
All now that makes it hard to say,
“Thy will be done!”

Then when on earth I breathe no more
The prayer oft mixed with tears before,I
’ll sing upon a happier shore,
“Thy will be done!”

Hymn #4- Speak, Lord, in the Stillness (The Quiet Hour)

This hymn can be sung as a prayer.

I like the line "blissful, glad surrender." Sometimes it is such a struggle to surrender, and we battle with our own flash, but then we feel the sweetness of the fellowship with Jesus.


Speak, Lord, in the stillness
While I wait on Thee;
Hushed my heart to listen,
In expectancy.

Speak, O blessèd Master,
In this quiet hour,
Let me see Thy face, Lord,
Feel Thy touch of power.

For the words Thou speakest,
“They are life” indeed;
Living Bread from Heaven,
Now my spirit feed!

All to Thee is yielded,
I am not my own;
Blissful, glad surrender,
I am Thine alone.

Fill me with the knowledge
Of Thy glorious will;
All Thine own good pleasure
In my life fulfill.

Like “a watered garden”
Full of fragrance rare,
Ling’ring in Thy presence
Let my life appear.