Friday, March 2, 2007

On the other hand

In contrast to my previous post on needing to remain in Russia longer to understand the humor, here are some signs that it has actually been long enough…(disclaimer: I got these from a website, so they’re not necessarily things that I do myself…but I can relate).

You know you have been in Russia too long when ...

-You have to think twice about throwing away the empty instant coffee jar.
-You carry a plastic shopping bag with you "just in case."
-You say he/she is "on the meeting" (as opposed to the more proper "at the" or "in a" meeting).
-You answer the phone by saying "allo, allo, allo" before giving the caller a chance to respond.
-You save table scraps for the cat(s) living in the courtyard.
-When crossing the street, you sprint.
-In winter, you choose your route first by determining which icicles are least likely to impale you on the head.
-You are impressed with the new model Lada or Volga.
-You let the telephone ring at least 3-4 times before you pick it up because it is probably a mis-connection or electric fault.
-You hear the radio say it is just at or below freezing outside and you think it might be nice day for a change.
-You argue with a taxi driver about a fare of 30 rubles to go 2-3 miles while it is snowing.
-You win a shoving match with an old Babushka for a place in line and you are proud of it.
-You hesitate to put on your seat belt to avoid offending the taxi driver and the impending 5 minute conversation to explain why you are putting it on.
-You look at people's shoes to determine where they are from.
-You plan your vacation around those times of the year when they turn off the hot water.
-You're offended when your American friend gives you a "dozen" roses.
-You don't notice that Sony sticker on the front of your TV.
-You are relieved when the guy standing next to you on the bus actually uses Kleenex.
-You are envious that your expat friend has smaller door keys than you.
-You ask for no ice in your drink.
-When you develop a liking for beets.
-When you eat hot dogs for breakfast.
-When you drink the brine from empty pickle jars.
-When you start shopping for products by their country of production
-When you start to "feel" public transport and bridge opening schedules.
-When you know more than 60 Olgas
-When you wear a wool hat in the sauna.

2 comments:

  1. So do you like American jokes?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm, good question. How do you keep a turkey in suspense?

    ReplyDelete

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