Haven't really felt like writing, but I promised myself I would be transparent and keep sharing my thoughts.
I've probably mentioned it before, but God ministers to me through music. I wish I knew Scripture as well as I know song lyrics, but there's room for both! And I try to challenge myself to match up the songs with corresponding Bible passages.
Recently when I've been trying to quiet my soul, I keep recalling the words "...'Cause life is hard. And it might not get easier."* That's from a song I learned at summer camp back in middle school. Not too positive, right? But the line before that is, "..and we all need Jesus." So, in that case, the words ring true. In John ch.16:33 Jesus tells his disciples, "In this world you will have trouble." I don't see that as a scary thing. I just see it as assurance that going through hardship is normal and doesn't mean that we are being neglected by God or specifically targeted. Of course I am writing this while still trying to convince myself that my troubles aren't any worse than anyone else's.
And then of course there is the obvious: "I cry out. For your hand of mercy to heal me."** Not my favorite song musically, but a good song of appeal, reminiscent of a Psalm.
There are also a few that we sing in Russian that are comforting to me. For some reason I like "With all I am" (Hillsong) better in Russian, but I'll include some of the English words here:
Jesus I believe in you
Jesus I belong to you
You're the reason that I live
The reason that I sing
With all I am
I'll walk with you
Wherever you go
Through tears and joy
I'll trust in you
And I will live
In all of your ways and
Your promises forever
And that one I guess is about Jesus as a precious friend and the center of life. For me I think it's about how He sustains me. I want to cling to Him and all of the promises that He represents.
P.S. Found this site, kind of neat: http://wordtoworship.com/
*"We Believe in God" (Amy Grant)
** "Good to Me" (Vineyard)
I am not very musical at all....I wish I could say that Scripture passages DO stick in my head, but they don't, really. Only tags that make sense to me (i.e. "Each day has trouble enough of its own.")
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry things are hard. I am glad you are writing. Keep it up! It is a hard time of year. In our Catholic worship the readings are all so grim and focused on death and loss. I'm rather glad that the weather has held out and has been sunny because I'm just not ready for that much darkness. (And there you are in a place that gets dark and stays dark!)
I've been horrible about memorizing Scripture lately. There are so many wonderful passages about Light. Do Catholics fast during Advent? Interesting how it's a serious time in Russian Orthodoxy, right at the time when Americans are usually having all their Christmas cookie parties, concerts, etc. Though I suppose Russians have plenty of New Year's celebrations.
DeleteAdvent is no longer a time of penance, and while I wish it were, I think we'd have an uphill battle. We celebrate the Christmas season until Epiphany both in the parish and at our house, but all around town, I see tress out on the street December 26. What a shame.
ReplyDeleteAt our teen retreat we had the most remarkable Scripture Scholar speak - he suggested memorizing Scripture. That is not a Catholic thing (and while he used to be a Protestant pastor, he said they tend to memorize just small bits for "argument". He suggests really MEMORIZING Scripture - as the apostles would have done.