tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949422246633548404.post1160650393682311764..comments2024-02-07T11:31:44.141+03:00Comments on On Life in St. Petersburg: When You Don't Want to Go to Church (Part 3) Elizabethhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15283395756742923658noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949422246633548404.post-78109362721690979572014-03-17T01:17:39.177+04:002014-03-17T01:17:39.177+04:00I hear what you're saying and I definitely thi...I hear what you're saying and I definitely think there is a difference between not liking the style and just plain having trouble settling down. My thoughts were going in circles as I wrote this post because it can be so complicated to choose a church and yet this post is supposed to be from the point of view of what the CHURCH can do. And I strongly disagree with it trying to accommodate everyone's interests so that anyone who hasn't found their church home yet will just fall right in love with it and never want to leave. Here I was trying to meditate on what we can do as a body of imperfect people who want to take care of each other. <br /><br />I'm sure there are MANY married couples who have to compromise one way or another over church attendance. My husband and I met while attending the same church, yet we're not always interested in the same events within the church. I hope that you're able to find redeeming qualities even while attending a church that has let you down in some ways.<br />Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15283395756742923658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949422246633548404.post-18579506953459869892014-03-17T01:10:14.684+04:002014-03-17T01:10:14.684+04:00...Oh, and we sometimes complain (jokingly) about ......Oh, and we sometimes complain (jokingly) about how we're jealous of the people who are newcomers or irregular attenders, because everyone always jumps on them with attention and tries to sort of woo them. But the people who are at every event? B-o-r-i-n-g.Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15283395756742923658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949422246633548404.post-43952849307622941342014-03-17T01:07:39.497+04:002014-03-17T01:07:39.497+04:00Hi, Faye! This is so helpful to read and I'm t...Hi, Faye! This is so helpful to read and I'm thankful to you for being honest about it. Your comment makes me think about how personality plays a role, too. I think of myself as horrible at being open, and also as someone who runs away from conflict. But despite my introvert tendencies, I did grow up going to church, and I think the necessity of going to church is so ingrained that I make myself do it. Maybe that's what you were talking about being "jealous" of, but whenever I visit a new church it is just as you described. I hate small-talk yet I crave friendship at the same time, and it just takes a lot of patience to get past those awkward encounters. I want to be greeted at church, but I don't want it to be because it's someone's "job" to target newcomers. I want it to be because they're actually happy to see me! I want to be left alone, but not ignored.<br /><br />I need to think about what you said about being "gentle and down-to-earth." That's part of why I mentioned the hospitality thing, because trying to help someone "plug in" sometimes translates into trying to install them in ministry, and that can sort of lead to people being a commodity. You play the guitar? Let's get you on the worship team! <br />Elizabethhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15283395756742923658noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949422246633548404.post-78279439302159298492014-03-16T21:55:09.869+04:002014-03-16T21:55:09.869+04:00Such interesting observations. A church that reac...Such interesting observations. A church that reached out to people like that might well draw in those who have the issues with laziness, or who Satan is simply trying to draw away.<br /><br />But, there are so many kinds of worshipping bodies.... perhaps a person just has not found the one that feels "comfortable" yet. I can barely make myself go to Mass at the parish where I work, because I was so traumatized by the merge of a few years ago. I can work here, fine - but when I go to Mass all I can think about is what I've lost. Yet, when I go to a different parish, things are amazing. Problem is, my schedule HERE makes it very hard to attend there. <br /><br />Hard. <br /><br />And people are so different. My husband wants to go to church and not talk to anyone; I'm more the person who would want to go to every event and be the last person out the door. We'd be happier in very different churches, actually. Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12623179886908222942noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2949422246633548404.post-58397546106476932412014-03-16T12:41:44.393+04:002014-03-16T12:41:44.393+04:00Hi Elizabeth! As a person who is more in the cate...Hi Elizabeth! As a person who is more in the category of never being capable of plugging in and getting fully involved in any church community, I often find myself vaguely jealous of people who grew up in healthy nourishing church environments. They already know how to plug in. They know what it means to have a spiritual community, how to accept disagreements, how to reap the benefits and generally how to be open. To use a metaphor, I often feel like in church I'm trying to use a tool or do something I've never really done before. I don't think this is anyone's fault in the church, but it may be hard for more of an "insider" to understand. I've been to about 5 churches or more here in Petersburg and I haven't plugged in. I've been to ones where no one greets anyone, and if it feels more comfortable at first, I realize it's hard for me to see the point in gathering somewhere where no one knows me or talks to me. At churches that do the opposite and really greet newcomers extensively, sign me up for tons of stuff to do, or start finding out about personal details of my life the first day, I often feel overwhelmed and want to close up. I wish I could tell churchgoers what to do for us believers who can't seem to "plug-in" to the body, but I guess I would simply recommend being gentle and down-to-earth about things. Getting involved in a church community makes people vulnerable, and it's often confusing how to go about doing it. Not everyone gets what's supposed to happen at church, especially those who maybe have never been or have had negative experiences. (I'm writing this as I'm procrastinating on attending yet another church this morning, so I'll cut it short here and go get ready ;) )Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03230662190118146032noreply@blogger.com